Hey there, Dawlin’!

Not that hamburgers aren’t great! Just, you know. Hamburgers are not the only fruit.

Oh, I’m sorry, did you think neon went out with the 80s? You’d be wrong.

Oh wow it’s the Nationals Contest! I hope everybody brought lots of confetti and meatloaf!

Meet Miss February! Stephanie has feelings about sweets, softball and ATM fees. You’ll get along swimmingly.

Lip Service Season Two kicks off with lots of sex, drama, bad ideas, good ideas, drugs, hot new roommates, eyeliner and haircuts!

Pretty Little Liars returned with their much anticipated (by me) winter premiere. Also there’s a girlfight!

As the sign outside a metro Boston liquor store once said, “Because holidays are for family.”

“To make this go as smoothly as possible… we’re going to play a game called “Gay or Not Gay” in which I invent the rules as I go along in order to make jokes.”

If you’re less ‘pastries and diamonds’ and more ‘car chases and Steve McQueen,’ consider a pair of key-hole sunglasses… Be warned: you will look like your dad and you will look awesome.

2009 is over! And now Audiostraddle has recapped some of the best and worst musical moments, releases and artists of the year – the things that made us laugh, sigh, say “WTF” and wish we could reach into our TV screens so that we could slap Kanye West silly.

Glee, Modern Family, Community, The Fall Television Gay Conspiracy, Beautiful Life, THREE RIVERS (why shane, why?), Stargate Universe, More Fall Television excitement than anyone CAN POSSIBLY HANDLE!, Spartacus, and so much more!

On this week’s televisionary, Carlytron accidentally takes some nice pills and is temporarily less snarky than normal. Journey with us as we delve into the gay Halloweens and implausible storylines of the Office, Parks and Recreation, Ugly Betty, Community, Gossip Girl, FlashForward, and Grey’s Anatomy.

We are clearly in November sweeps, because TV is just OOC right now. Get the skinny on Gossip Girl, How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, V, Grey’s Anatomy, Tabatha’s Salon Takeover, all of the Real Housewives, Parks and Recreation, SNL and more!

Chely Wright ignited a media frenzy when she came out last month, but lesbians have had an out country/rock star to call their own for years — Jennifer Corday. With 3 albums and her music featured in films and on TV, Corday is on a roll as she completes her upcoming record. She talks to Autostraddle about being gay in country, why lesbians love girls with guitars, and tells tales of the trouble her Gretchen Wilson “Redneck Lesbo” parody has gotten her into.

Swimsuit makers don’t care about gay people. Luckily, we do! And so do a lot of other people, actually — guest bloggers on this swimsuit spectacular include Queer Fat Femme, Fit For a Femme and Brandy Howard from “In Your Box Office”.

It’s our very last recamp! In this heart-pounding tale of love and life, a bunch of weirdos go to prom, witness an epic proposal, and share all their feelings.

In which five of us talk about our favorite poet ever. “Those of us who think we know / the same secrets / are silent together most of the time.”

Why have sex when you can read about sex and look at sexy photos? That’s what we thought too.

Inconvenient truth: it’s about to get a whole lot colder. What this means is that you’ve got to get yourself a coat and start looking up candy-cane vodka drinks and figuring out whether or not you should ask that cute girl to go ice skating.