This week on The L Word: Generation Q, Alice is forced to eat two buckets of popcorn, Shane releases an endangered bumblebee into the wild, Sophie does a solid Matthew McConaughey impression, Dani is rescued from a near-collision with a scooter by a handsome prince and so much more!

Finley’s Mom crashes a Thanksgiving episode with a spread that includes a Turkey Trot, a magic disappearing engagement ring, toxic Pumpkin Spice, alleged sexting and warm wine in a go-cup!

Finally we return to the stuff everybody REALLY misses from the original series, like vague dialogue, bats out of hell and funding the CAC

The wedding was a bust but we sure do have a lot to talk about! Come on in and join our dear friends for the most fight-packed episode in L Word history!

This week in Episode 203 of The L Word Generation Q, Bette Porter looks at art and yells at Gigi, Dani gets a penthouse, Angie meets her half-sister, Micah gets a new job and Sophie and Finley are faced with the very real possibility that they’ll need to invest in a new kitchen table.

It’s the season finale and we’ve got Roxane Gay, emotionally complicated sex, Bette Porter in hiking attire, Dani wanting to get married ASAP and honestly a lot of things that I can’t put in the excerpt because I don’t want to reveal any spoilers for people who haven’t seen it yet! Wheeee!

Why are there twice as many lesbian squabbles as lesbian sexy moments in this show? Oh yeah, it’s because this is the way that we liveeeeeeeee. This is the one where Ilene reminds us all that men are disgusting, loathsome creatures by making henry cut his toenails.

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and Riese is sending out all her love. Luckily there’s lots to love in this episode with everyone looking very Shane today, the lesbian phone tree, Tasha being generally adorable, and of course: Angela Robinson.

Oh look! A special visit from The Ditty Bops! In this installment of our favorite saga, Alice says “what the frickin’ frack?!,” Max stlll has an unfortunately soulpatch, and Alice and Shane make us remember why vandalism can be fun.

Better is riding a tractor, Jenny is riding a raft, and Paige is riding Shane in the ’50s. Shining moments include scenes with the Lynch [who can do no wrong] and Dana Fairbanks [may she rest in peace].

In a countdown of the best scenes of season four, we start with Jenny calling Stacey Merkin a vagina wig and take a break with the basketball game at number six. Scenes one through five are coming atcha soon.

First of all: Hellooooooo Paige! Someone tell Papi that she can be a chula without the Hobby Lobby hats, please. In other news, remember how you laughed the whole time they played basketball? Me too.

The top three ways you can tell EZ-Girl wrote this episode? Max kissed mice when he was little, Tina likes movies that are very “visual”, and Catharine thinks drawing with lipstick is sexy. Luckily, Jenny just wants to take off her clothes in public.

Despite the fact that angus is a lying low-down nanny-fucking motherfucker, GIRLS ACTUALLY HAVE SEX THIS EPISODE. Even Kit and Papi. Ew, we know.

This week in L Word University we learn how to say fuck in sign language, Phyllis assigns “The Whole Lesbian Sex Book,” and Alice and Jenny channel the masters.

If Paige and Shane have already done the time then they might as well do the crime you know what I mean ladies?

Episode 606 of The L Word, titled “Lactose Intolerant,” is the worst thing I’ve seen on television since Episode 604 of The L Word. Howevs; whereas 604 was calmly terrible — bumbling softly along its housework-heavy path of mediocrity — 606 was outrageously, actively, aggressively terrible.

Good news: on a scale of one to ten, this episode was “not bad!” There was a surprising amount of sex from miss i-never-give-the-girls-what-they-want chaiken, it was directed by Jamie Babbit, Foxy Brown came to the jailhouse, and Inconceivable showed up from ‘The Princess Bride.’

Of all foods: french fries. Of all underthings: boybriefs. . Of all girls: Shane. Of all cheekbones: Tasha’s. Of all L Word writers: Angela Robinson. Of all cities: New York City. Of all songs: “Just Like Heaven,” by the Cure. It’s just … such a perfect song, and the last song I ever expected to hear during an L Word sex scene!

Everything in LA is too hot to live. The ladies of The L Word have a showdown a la “The Godfather” and then everyone goes home [or to an elevator] and has a lot of sex while Freezepop plays in the back.