Welcome to Saturday Morning Cartoons, a segment where four artists take turns delighting you with their whimsy, facts and punchlines on Saturday mornings! Our esteemed cartoon critters are Cameron Glavin, Anna Bongiovanni, Megan Praz and Yao Xiao. Today’s cartoon is by Cameron!
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Cameron is an illustrator hailing from Ohio. When she’s not drawing, she’s probably very, very quietly having loud thoughts about: queer things, her eventual shop, what to watch next on Netflix, food, names for her future pets, and tumblr.
Cameron has written 76 articles for us.
I really relate to this. When I started using a new name, most of my friends adopted it with ease and started calling me by it right away, with very few slip-ups. With others (mainly relatives), I thought if I was patient and gave them more time to adjust, they’d start using the new name – but it’s been years now, and the same people are still just not trying. At this point, I’m not sure what the best course of action is…
What I learned this week is that if you have a few people with you who aren’t shy about correcting the few who aren’t adjusting FOR YOU, that makes a lot of difference. I mean, my mom still won’t even say “Cameron”. BUT she almost accidentally corrected herself once because 1) some people adjusted immediately, 2) some people preferred the efficiency of using my chosen name over having to pause conversation to be corrected, 3) by the middle of the week, I interrupted so many times that “Cameron” became an automatic response to anyone hearing my old name.
Idk if that helps. But being patient for change only works if the people you’re being patient for intend to change. Y’know?
v. pleased with the idea of you interrupting everybody
saying your name wrong
cameron is the only name that makes sense
THIS IS THE TRUTH
<3
My mom changed her name when she was 20 for aesthetic, not gender reasons. She’s 59 now and her sisters still slip up regularly. So, some people may never stop, but it might just be because they’re a little lazy and rude and not because they’re intolerant. Not sure if that helps or hurts.
FIGHT! DEFEND YOUR NAME! :D
Oof yeah, I feel this.
My friends are great and never slip up, but a lot of other people who knew me pre-name change slip up occasion.
It’s especially rough with family because my grandmother has dementia and it’s been getting worse so some days she remembers and some days she doesn’t, and it makes it harder to enforce calling me by my name with that side of the family because they’re used to [birthname] more than Hollis due to my grandma generally just remembering [birthname]. And like I’m definitely not upset about my grandma not getting it and I know it complicates it for family, but it’s still a rough time.
That’s definitely a tough situation. I think though that it might still be worth it to talk to your family about calling you your name, barring when helping your grandmother understand. Y’know? Using your name is recognition that they see you as who you are now. It’s a huge load off to have that small acknowledgement and to not constantly be/feel misidentified/unseen.
Sending good vibes your way, Hollis (which is a way cool name, btw).
Go you! <3
You rock, Cameron. Keep it up. :)
So after reading this I decided to give my family a chance at calling me the right name by sucking it up and actually asking them to. I just had a really good chat with my mum, so thank you Cameron, I wouldn’t have done it without you.
This is fantastic!
GILBERT. I am such a PROUD DAD. <3
You look exactly like a Cameron. Cameron is a lovely name and you are a lovely person. One of my first serious crushes was on a girl named Cameron.
THANK YOU
Oh my gosh I know these feels, thank you! <3
This is something I want to work on, as well. I usually don’t even bother correcting my family, but this really hit home for me and I think it’s time I start.
Good on you for standing up for yourself and who you are! <3
HELL YEAH, CAMERON.
as a person who’s not not confrontational (and who may eventually want to change their own name), seeing people empowered to start fighting those battles makes me SO PSYCHED & SO PROUD. you deserve this respect!!
I changed my name over a year and a half ago but I never told my family. I’m still not sure what I should do but I’m glad to see other people being more assertive…
I totally get this. When I changed my name, I sent everybody in my family an e-mail stating the fact, and hoped no one would ever ask anything about the subject. ?
I’m in much the same boat. I wanted to change my name for decades, and when I finally did I made a Facebook announcement, but I made such a big deal out of it not being a big deal that literally no one is bothering to call me by my legal name and I’m not sure how to enforce it now. I don’t know how many decades it will take for my social circle to change enough so that even a handful of people call me a name I haven’t hated my whole life.
It’s frustrating. Some people I’ve only ever known online even go out of their way to call me birth name in public, on a Facebook account that has never been associated with my birth name. I’m sure it’s just a display of intimacy thing, like calling someone by their RL first name on a forum instead of their username, but it hurts that my legal name is considered equal to something like 1amt3hb3stest_69.
I just let people call me what ever they choose. It’s amazing how many names you can rack up over time. I only did that because I got tired of people mispronouncing my name and no one would listen when I would correct them or they would tell me that I didn’t match my name. I noticed, after years of taking this approach, that a chosen name carries more weight than my given name. People go out of their way to keep the given identity alive and even make special when others ask for an explanation. When the people who use other names for me, notice that I have to keep correcting someone about my name, they help out and make sure I am ok. I don’t care about the name so much as the respect you show me when using or learning it. If I have to keep correcting you after you know the proper way to say it, you are just being disrespectful and lazy in my opinion. My name isn’t that hard to pronounce either…… now I’m mad….. -_-
I used the same name changing strategy I used for all my social transitions: by first introducing it into queer spaces and then moving across the country.
(I moved across the country for somewhat unrelated reasons, but it helped! People can’t call me by a birthname they don’t even know.)