Sarah Palin Lies (& Loves Glenn Beck), Double X Folds, Women Bare 40% and Feminism Allegedly Won?

SARAH PALIN: The 18 Biggest Falsehoods from Sarah Palin’s book “Going Rogue,” which we’ve kindly avoided mentioning until now because we are in denial that this book exists, that Sarah Palin ever did exist and still exists and is profiting from her own existence. political-pictures-john-mccain-sarah-palin-woman-rights

Furthermore Palin believes in racial profiling, thinks Glenn Beck is great for America, and is fully prepared for our liberal heads to explode when she reveals this news. Well Sarah our heads are still on, no worries there, but you are making our hearts bleed.

GENDER WARS: Okay, women didn’t really win everything or even get to see the earth at night. But there’s this guy, Marcus Buckingham, over at HuffPo who wrote a nice article to let us know that feminism’s won because now men are just like women. He makes a few valid points, but in general doesn’t make sense and therefore Bitch breaks it all down for you: “Aha! So what Buckingham is saying is that since now a whopping 42 percent of men think that they should be the primary breadwinners and women should be the primary homemakers that somehow men are turning into women. What if 42 percent of white people believed we should overturn Brown v. Board of Education? Would signify a “win” for civil rights activists because barely half of white people thought that integration was a tolerable notion?” Just FYI, he also talks about how Zac Efron is the new face of actors. I don’t know why this is indicative of men anywhere because Zacquisha is clearly a lesbian. (@bitch)

DOUBLE X: Jezebel asks Do We Need Websites For Women? and answers, “because of these possibilities, women’s blogs aren’t just blogs for women. They’re blogs about issues that affect women — issues as various as reproductive rights, healthcare reform, world affairs, and yes, Battlestar Galactica — for anyone who happens to read about them.” See Double X is folding back into Slate. We think we need more good women’s blogs, but Double X never found a way to prove it was anything besides an experiment in feministing + jezebel ’cause it only distanced itself from jezebel by criticizing it, not by demonstrating a specific difference from it or bettering it at its own game. (@jezebel)

TARGET WOMEN: But don’t worry,when a SCARY MAN BREAKS INTO YOUR HOUSE YOU ARE SAFE! Sarah Haskins breaks it all down for you:

SEX APPEAL: Women should wear clothes that bare 40 per cent of their flesh to maximise their chances of attracting men, new scientific research indicates. God I am so glad that this doesn’t apply to me, where’s my hoodie. (@the west australian)

CANCER: New mamogram advice finds a skeptical audience. The United States Preventive Services Task Force that women without unusual cancer risks should not begin regular screening for breast cancer until age 50. (@nytimes)

PORN: Oprah Winfrey talks to Jenna Jameson about porn. It’s sort of sad when she told Oprah that she just wanted to be in front of an audience like Oprah, but generally it’s great that she’s able to own her sexuality and her decisions and not apologize for her successful career in a controversial field. (@jezebel)

MONEY: We’ve got even more proof that the gay storm is not coming! Since India decriminalized homosexuality in July, gay-oriented businesses have sprung up across the country. And who’s going to argue against all that money? (@business)

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Laura

Laura is a tiny girl who wishes she were a superhero. She likes talking to her grandma on the phone and making things with her hands. Strengths include an impressive knowledge of Harry Potter, the ability to apply sociology to everything under the sun, and a knack for haggling for groceries in Spanish. Weaknesses: Chick-fil-a, her triceps, girls in glasses, and the subjunctive mood. Follow the vagabond adventures of Laura and her bike on twitter [@laurrrrita].

Laura has written 308 articles for us.

21 Comments

  1. About the sex appeal article… I think it depends on your body type. I have a Beyonce type body so no matter what I wear you can see what I got going on. :) So I tend to stay more covered, but i still attract guys so it’s all good. Anyway who has time to measure the percentage of body they are showing? Women, girls, just need to remember don’t do both. Either you show legs and cover the top or you show the top and cover the legs. If you remember that you won;t ever be slutty just sexy!

  2. When I get angry about Sarah Palin’s existence, I remind myself that Tina Fey could not have made fun of her if she didn’t exist. And then I feel a little better.

  3. You know what really sucks about Bakersfield, California (which is where I live)? I mean, aside from all the Yes on 8 signs that were up last year, the terrible air quality and that it’s like, really hot. What really sucks is the fact that next year, we are hosting a business conference. And the whole Republican Mafia are speaking. For just $425 you get a ticket which allows the opportunity to sit in on wonderful speakers such as Laura Bush (who really, let’s admit, is pretty sweet and adorable all things considered), Dick and Lynn Cheney.. and best of all: Sarah Palin.

    Really, people of Bakersfield? Die in a fire.

  4. Gah, I hate how people who know nothing about feminism think that all we want is to chop the balls off of every guy in the room and call it equality. Don’t they get that the goal is not sameness… it’s fairness. Nobody wants to emasculate the men; we just want to empower the women.

  5. I kinda sorta maybe think that the picture of Sarah Palin when she was young on the home page for this story is hot. Does that make me unlovable? I know she’s six kinds of crazy. I’m just trying to confess here to Sister Mother Mary Autostraddle.

  6. “The United States Preventive Services Task Force” obviously has no idea what they’re talking about. My biological mother, who (while a total bitch) doesn’t have the cancer gene or abnormal risk for breast cancer, but get breast cancer a few years back. If she had waited until she was 50 (10 years from now) to get screened, she would be DEAD. Not really something I wish on anyone.

    Regardless of all that though, I really never want to get a mammogram. The thought of my A cups being pinched like that makes me cringe like I’m seeing a kitten run over by a truck.

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