Are you ready to get this Prop 8 thing taken care of once and for all? SO ARE WE. We recap today’s closing arguments on the Prop 8 trial on gay marriage in California, with characteristic Autostraddle style and class.

Lindsay Lohan began her sentence today and so we’re putting a moratorium on Lindsay Lohan stories for the time being, cool? Mean Girls quotes = still allowed. Also: Kate Moennig guest starring in Dexter, Kathy Griffin vs. Elisabeth Hasselbeck round 2, Courtney Love’s fashion blog, La Roux, Weeds and more.

Do you love gerunds? There’s a a song for that.

The beating of a gay man in Georgia gave us some feelings about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and pervasive homophobia in the military. Plus, gay men still can’t give blood, the 16-year-old sailor has been found, culture wars are here to stay, and a lesbian cop is suing the NYPD for sexual harrassment.

Lady Gaga talked to Larry King and it was kinda awkward, kinda fun. Plus, Racialicious takes on SATC2, Marie Claire France has women with real curves, Charlotte Church lost her husband over a gay smooch, and Tila Tequila is even worse at life than usual.

Skins USA, based on Cycle 1 of the British series, has been picked up by MTV and is shooting in Baltimore. Early reports suggested that the gay character “Maxxie” would become “Teo” in the US version, but we’ve got news that Teo is out the window — replaced by a lesbian cheerleader named “Tea.” HOW HOT IS THAT GONNA BE. Also: Skins movie news, Adam Lambert’s tour, Reality Bites Rocks, remembering Rue & moar.

Basically everyone we ever talk about is in this post. Lindsay Lohan’s new role & good behavior, Santana on the future of Brittana, Gaga does Alejandro on American Idol, Kristen Stewart defends her reputation for not giving a shit, Queen Latifah is writing a girl power scripted show for VH1, James Franco skirts the gay issue, new trailer for Machete starring Lindsay Lohan & Michelle Rodriguez, Ellen apologizes for offending the iPhone, and new PSA for Prop 8 Films.

New information in the Cheyenne Williams case (maybe), and shocking violence in Edmonton. Gay and bisexual politicians abound, and the petition on Ref. 71 is finally going to court. Also, a defense of the Boy Scouts, and an investigation of the gay dollar.

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels announce their separation after 2 children and nearly 9 years together. The lesbian universe weeps another loss.

Today Obama did another thing for gay people, and we can hear the icicles of our soul slowly melting. Which got me thinking about relationships — are we in an emotionally manipulative short-term on-and-off relationship with Obama, or is he in fact being a better man?

Sara Isaacson came to school on her ROTC scholarship before she realized she was a lesbian. But coming out has cost her $80,000 — ROTC wants her money back. In 2002, the same thing happened to a girl that I once knew — who I learned today is still fighting against DADT in unexpected ways. A look at how much things have changed, and how much they have stayed the same. Also, do your hobbies make you gay, a good day to love gay men, and meet Chris Pureka!

Lesbian scandals that have been clogging our Google Reader so let’s get ’em all out there: sex! murder! terrible fark-ready things! It’s been a year since Dan Choi visited the Rachel Maddow show and came out — he returns and is f*cking brilliant. Also: that’s gay, best interrupting moments & more!

A full video of Jennifer Knapp’s appearance on Larry King Live is out — will Jennifer Knapp be the one to show Gay & Christian are not mutually exclusive? And when did Ted Haggard stop being an asshat and start being bearable? Rosie makes our little gay hearts feel full of love, Archie Comics are getting a new gay in Riverdale, Will Phillips is the cutest recipient of a television journalism award in the history of television journalism, and there’s a new name in media aimed at Muslim women. And hey, have you made a video for Be Queer, Buy Queer yet? If not, make moves!

Closeted gays play basketball, lesbians play softball, gay boys rank each other on websites that get startup funds (bah!), Constance McMillen has her day in court and the school officials whipped out some doozies, a good lesbian suit is hard to find, Elisabeth Hasslebeck and Whoopi fight about health care, also wait ’til you see these portraits of soldiers affected by Don’t Ask Don’t Tell!

Kate Nash announces North American tour, Sia previews new tracks, Justin Bieber sells sh*t on QVC, Tegan & Sara to headline 2010 Honda Civic Tour with Paramore, Lilith Fair dates announced, new MGMT single for free download, and so much more!

This week, Lady Gaga won everything ever but we’re still going to give you awards anyway. ‘Cause you’re just SO FUNNY!

Lady Gaga’s Q Magazine cover story is intriguing for more than just its provocative cover, for which Gaga insisted she wear a strap-on — we transcribe it for ya. Also; Angela/Jordan, MTV snubs Gen X and Lohan in LA.

Sinead O’Connor speaks out about the Pope’s crappy apology, Maureen Dowd thinks women could fix this shit & people freak out about gay bunkmates in war but ignore alarming sexual assault statistics against women. Also; more new headlines on Church scandals, DADT, and a controversial film at the Tribeca Film Festival. Also, discrimination and the census, and a look back at Christine Daniels’ life and death.

Why talk about TV all the time when we can just get legendary internet recluse scribegrrrl to come summarize the last three months of television for you? 30 Rock, LOST, Spartacus, American Idol, Dollhouse, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, Damages, Modern Family, Nip/Tuck, and so much moar!

Ah, homo-love is in the air – can you feel it? … No? Well, you’ll always have us as your Valentine (and maybe if we’re both still single in 10 years, we could give it a shot, ya know, just for funsies). Forget the Hallmark cards, your Autostraddle Comment Award will keep your warm at night!