“I will give you 24 hours to return that witch to me. And if you don’t I will personally eat, f*ck and kill all three of you.”

In which Emily licks her in the front and pokes her in the rear. Well, not exactly. I just wanted to say that.

Another captivating episode of that weird reality show about lesbians. This week everyone goes on a field trip but none of those field trips are roller derby.

Did you know that in Argentina, this show is advertised as “the show for women that every man will want to watch”?

If you can make out there, you can make out anywhere.

fame! i wanna live forever, i wanna know how to fly FAME! i wanna live forever, except this episode i have to go to a funeral.

Let’s waste more time reading this than we already did watching the episode

I liked the show

This episode is the reason you’re watching Skins US

It’s the last episode of Lip Service. Who will fingerbang? Who will win the immunity idol? Who will wear a cute rugby shirt and fuck on the kitchen counter? Who will walk sadly through the streets of Glasgow in the misty darkness? Who will drink before sunset? All those answers and more, inside.

BBC3’s Lip Service had an episode last week. We watched it and NOW only nearly a week later, can tell you what we saw. It involves lesbian sex both upside down and right-side up, and some smoldering glances from Frankie/Shane and a cop doing a girl on a desk. Also; feelings.

It’s Take Your Family to the Episode Day! I mean, it’s an episode about real lesbians. Or something. A recap of something that happened. I wish Slim Daddy had been in it though.

Skins Episode 407; in which Effy gets brainwashed and someone else gets their brains bashed in. Hahahaha JK! Or are we? Read the recap and find out!

Why are there twice as many lesbian squabbles as lesbian sexy moments in this show? Oh yeah, it’s because this is the way that we liveeeeeeeee. This is the one where Ilene reminds us all that men are disgusting, loathsome creatures by making henry cut his toenails.

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and Riese is sending out all her love. Luckily there’s lots to love in this episode with everyone looking very Shane today, the lesbian phone tree, Tasha being generally adorable, and of course: Angela Robinson.

Oh look! A special visit from The Ditty Bops! In this installment of our favorite saga, Alice says “what the frickin’ frack?!,” Max stlll has an unfortunately soulpatch, and Alice and Shane make us remember why vandalism can be fun.

Better is riding a tractor, Jenny is riding a raft, and Paige is riding Shane in the ’50s. Shining moments include scenes with the Lynch [who can do no wrong] and Dana Fairbanks [may she rest in peace].

In a countdown of the best scenes of season four, we start with Jenny calling Stacey Merkin a vagina wig and take a break with the basketball game at number six. Scenes one through five are coming atcha soon.

“As your resident Australian girl-on-girl, I feel it’s my obligation to update you on the most important thing to ever happen in the history of Lesbians in Australia (since the birth of Portia De Rossi): the torrid affair between Charlie and Joey.”

First of all: Hellooooooo Paige! Someone tell Papi that she can be a chula without the Hobby Lobby hats, please. In other news, remember how you laughed the whole time they played basketball? Me too.