Lesbian mistletoe smooches, omniscient death threats, and the return of Mona Vanderwaal!

In which Maura makes a friend, the siblings continue to make terrible interpersonal choices, and also there are some geese.

In which a number of plans go awry.

“Journalist dude’s mouth says ‘no problem, let me know if you change your mind’ but his face says ‘I AM VRY DISAPPOINTED IN U PIPER U ARE ACTING LIKE SEASON 1 PIPER RN’.” Caputo makes a cameo with a tiny plant.

Felix says they need an idea to trap Donnie, and Alison tells him what every college student already knows: drinking leads to ideas.

This week on “Faking It,” everybody finds out about the threesome and Amy and Karma break up and everybody gets real sad about it.

In which Santana doesn’t kiss any girls but she does wear a series of sexy outfits and boss everyone around while holding adorable puppies.

The episode where we finally see the EzrA lair!

This episode involved my two worst fears: fucking with teeth and being on a date with someone who would wear a long-sleeve polo shirt.

There is a scene in this episode involving Snow and Charming taking on a Medusa that looks like she’s straight out of a Sega Genesis game, and it is ridiculous. I can’t even describe to you the completely ludicrous nature of this scene, I really can’t.

The winter premiere of Pretty Little Liars is finally here and we’re going to get to say the word “box” a lot.

At this point, we’ll be lucky if we make it out of the season without a reveal that Pongo is the father of Rapunzel who is married to Smee who is secretly the child of Flounder who is actually the son of one of the scary trees from Snow White.

This week on Glee, enthusiastic children danced and sang and broke walls as William Schuster toed the blurred line between “the worst” and THE WORST.

This week on Glee, Santana Lopez and Dani fall madly in love in three minutes, which lez be honest is kinda realistic.

Ever been punched in a tit before? That crushing pain in your areola and the dense tissue of the breast? Brutal. I’ll take dental surgery over titty punches any day.

Indeed, they are lesbianing together.

“Red’s husband is like, whoa, free-thinking woman, are you on your period or something? Who let you out of the kitchen?”

This week on Pretty Little Liar Emily spends all together too much time trying to defend men and Hanna sinks a car in a lake while wearing a super lesbian outfit.

This week on Bomb Girls, half of my early season predictions came true, and there was hardcore lesbian kissing!

This week on Glee, everything ended. Because it was the last episode of the season. There will be more episodes next season though. So don’t worry about it. Also this episode was weird, so.