Here’s how to forget about the world during sex and be present instead.

There was a time before time, in the yawning abyss of darkness and starfire that is the infinite and ever-expanding universe — a time before any of us had had lesbian sex. Most of us thought about it, though, or tried to imagine how it would work! We were not always correct.

I followed trans adult film-maker Chelsea Poe on a DIY world tour.

Is that insecurity in my pocket or have you just not sexted me back yet?

In the world of sex, choosing the right song is key. In my life, sometimes I choose songs that are just right, and sometimes a song gets associated with something especially heinous. These are their stories.

“When I’m being used for sex, I feel like a vessel through which pleasure flows, hot and bursting.”

I want to break things — holes, walls, people. I want to feel the begging in my pelvis and let it ignite the fire under me to burn bright up my spine and light up all my colors.

“For me, as a Black Trans Woman, to find her body not only as something worthy and magnificent (as it is), but to find someone to share that magick with, may very well be one of the only moments she has to enjoy a trying and very taxing life — one that’s always trying to kill her.”

You just have to be honest about what you’re looking for, and keep going after it.

“One way we can change the narratives around our sexuality and our erotic bodies is by taking up space as sexual beings and celebrating other women and femmes doing the same.” This zine is on it.

“He’d asked me about it before, saying it was something he’d always wanted. And now, he was quivering on the floor, looking up at me, handing me an open knife with both hands.”

“Submitting is something I do, not something done to me.”

I started to see submission as less about what happens in play and more about a way to approach the world.

Happy Fisting Day! Celebrate by fisting. Also celebrate by voting no on Proposition 60.

“Perhaps trust is my biggest kink. That would explain a lot.”

I have to be willing to reveal the messy, intimate parts of my life to have this authority exchange really work 24/7. Otherwise, it just isn’t sustainable.

Giving orders is more than the words coming out of my mouth. It’s the tone of voice I use, the eye contact, the confidence, the ease with which I speak.

Submitting is a weird dichotomy of knowing exactly what you want but putting someone else in control of giving it to you.

I wanted her. I dreamed about her, daydreamed about her, wrote love notes to her all day long, wrote erotica about our sex life. We weren’t together all that long, but she taught me so much about dominance.

“What if the person who is strapped-on is tied to a bed, blindfolded and ridden, not allowed to come? Who is really in charge then?”