This week on “Faking It,” everybody gets ready for a three-way!

Here’s another episode in which the Liars find themselves lying.

Felix says they need an idea to trap Donnie, and Alison tells him what every college student already knows: drinking leads to ideas.

“Dr. Leekie wants Cosima working for them, and Delphine assures him she’s on it. He tells her to be careful playing for the other team, which is a pretty solid gay/double agent joke.”

This week on “Faking It,” everybody protested a thing and I protested Karma’s overall existence.

“Apparently the witches’ journey to New Orleans was just like the Oregon Trail, only with less fiber and more smelly vaginas! This fucking show, you guys. This. Fucking. Show.”

In the first episode of “Faking It,” two girls are mistaken for a lesbian couple and they sort of just run with it.

Because of how upset and exhausted I assume y’all must be, I’ve made sure this recap is chock full of inappropriate captions and semi-offensive image editing and even drinking games you can play the next time you feel up to the challenge. Here is your veritable stuffed French toast of a recap, so go ahead and dig in.

Last week I was on a mountain with no internet! So welcome to your very very overdue “Faking It” recap, just in time for tonight’s episode.

Welcome to the seventh episode of American Horror Story, featuring an award-winning musical score by Hans Zimmer. I’m sorry, that’s not Hans Zimmer; it’s two goblins humping on a Casio keyboard. My mistake.

“But then Mulan came charging out of the closet, and one million homos stood up and said I KNEW IT, I FUCKING KNEW IT, MOTHERFUCKING HONOR TO US ALL.”

This week on “Faking It,” everybody finds out about the threesome and Amy and Karma break up and everybody gets real sad about it.

Get ready to learn so much about Ezra.

The one with wedding dresses because why not.

While Sarah seems extremely comfortable roughing it up and peeing in the woods, Felix equates camping with being homeless in the country. Obviously he’s never been to A-Camp.

The one where the writer’s were like, “Meh, let’s just accuse random people of being A from now on. Who cares if it makes any sense?”

On April 22, MTV will be premiering a new comedy about two girls who pretend to be lesbians together in order to get popular at school. Needless to say, this has me very confused.

Welcome to the third episode of American Horror Story, the show for all your minotaur sexin’ needs!

Spencer is riding the strugglebus.

“I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that not ONE of these witches has made a Diana Ross Supremes joke. Not once. And they say “Supreme” every five seconds. OPPORTUNITY MISSED.”