“It’s like biting into a decorative soap. Whoever decided this was an acceptable form of dessert was a sadist of the highest order. If anyone ever offers you one of these items, escape immediately; this person is trying to kill you.”

I offered up some ideas for staycation themes and activities in our launch post, but since I’m really devoted to helping you live your dreams, I thought I’d follow it up with some concrete steps to make them happen. Like DIY projects! And pretty pictures!

Warning: There will be crumbs.

Nobody does breakfast like Bob Evans.

I hope this accumulation of caper recipes will ignite or otherwise invigorate your love for capers, or at the very least give you an excuse to make a lot of detective puns in the kitchen.

“At some point, probably around the time I became a surly teenager and wanted something of my very own to craft and control and create, I decided to start making gingerbread too. At first this was just something I did alone, but gradually my younger brother began helping me, then my older brother, and it kind of became a tradition by accident.”

“Have you ever done the Would You Rather where the first option is to live in a small apartment with your two worst enemies in your least favorite city for ten years, and the other is to have a goat within a ten-foot radius of your body for the rest of your life? Well I would pick the goat every time, partly because I think I would get used to the goat and that it would be more tolerable than ten years with those two in Las Vegas, but mostly because it means I’d have a perpetual source of goat’s milk, which would then give me access to endless goat cheese.”

Happy National Coffee Day!

Sometimes I like my food the way that I enjoy my sexuality: unnatural.

It also turns out that I’m a foodie and love brunching sober because I get to focus and spend more money on the actual food! (Pizza and Oreos are NOT theeeeee best combination of food I’ve eeeeeeever eaten. That was the vodka talking.)

Who says Halloween can’t be adorable instead?

I can’t tell you about the head or what it has “notes” of. But I can tell you about some beers I really enjoyed, a few I didn’t, and the things that happened along the way.

Zucchini is delicious. It deserves a better home than in that boring zucchini bread.

“So what would you make me for breakfast if we had just slept together for the first time, but you already knew you loved me and wanted to impress me and feed me into becoming your wife? Hypothetically.”

Cooking food that is delicious and beautiful isn’t really that hard. Here’s ten tips to help you out!

It’s so fluffy, I’m gonna diiiiie!

Confessions of a peanut butter fanatic.

There is no drink simpler than a gin and tonic. Which means it’s the perfect opportunity to (easily) get a little fancy.

For the week ahead: a whole bunch of ways to eat soba noodles, because soba noodles are delicious.

I can’t promise I’ll go to the gym, but I can promise myself that I’ll go to my kitchen.