“That’s right — the characters on this show abusing their power has become so commonplace that I am now desensitized and can only think of denim.”

Let’s face it, that’s all that we care about.

This week on Glee, everyone we love (including Brittany!) came back to Lima to sing, dance, eat at the Cracker Barrel (offscreen), cry and kiss each other!

This week on Glee, Blaine and Kurt got a lot of face time with each other’s faces/feelings, and Rachel went a little Shosh on us.

The episode where we finally see the EzrA lair!

“Brandon tells Dani he’ll pay her back but she says it was a gift and giving makes her happy, happy, happy! Then, she says she has one request and I don’t want to know what it is. I pause the show, eat Skittles and consider quitting the recapping life.”

Welcome to the penultimate episode of American Horror Story, the show that hits you in the face harder than a left hook from Misty Day.

A show about “celebrities” with “relationship problems” being solved by a “professional” team of therapists. Quotation marks intentional.

This week on Glee, everybody yelled at each other some more! Then there was a cool band at a hot club called CALLBACKS. Also, I think waitress uniforms are the new Cheerios uniforms.

This week on Glee, “Funny Girl” opened and Santana came back!

This episode is all over the place, but Betty from Bomb Girls tries to cop a feel. So there’s that.

This week on “Faking It,” Amy goes to a lesbian coffee shop and Karma’s parents introduce the schoolchildren to Kale!re

In which Emily spends some quality time in bed with Alison and we return to Aria’s love shack only to discover shocking news about Hanna’s past hookups.

“The doorbell rings and it’s Emma the Wrestler with noodle kugel! We get a little primer on how Jews respond to funerals. Hint: They bring kugel. Every time they say “kugel,” I hear “kegel” and do 15.”

There is a scene in this episode involving Snow and Charming taking on a Medusa that looks like she’s straight out of a Sega Genesis game, and it is ridiculous. I can’t even describe to you the completely ludicrous nature of this scene, I really can’t.

The winter premiere of Pretty Little Liars is finally here and we’re going to get to say the word “box” a lot.

Is this show ridiculous? Of course! Am I at all interested in watching TV shows that DON’T feature a talking severed head of Kathy Bates? NOPE NOPE NOPASAURUS REX!

I hope you like dad jokes, because this recap is chock full of them.

“But then again, my favorite princess was Belle, whose Stockholm Syndrome didn’t register as an issue to me, so long story short: Disney princesses fucked with all of our childhood concepts of healthy relationships.”

This week on Glee, everybody sang Billy Joel songs and everything hurt!