This week on “Faking It,” Laverne Cox has to choose between Karma, Shane, Lauren and Oliver for who will be queen of the castle. Also, Amy really goes the extra mile.

Someone is going to die on tonight’s “Pretty Little Liars” mid-season finale! Who will it be? Maybe it will be you! But probably it will be Mona.

I’m curing an allergy attack with hot toddies, let’s recap this sucker!

It’s Valentine’s Day at Litchfield and Poussey Day in Flashbackland!

This week on “Faking It,” Amy and Reagan went on a date but then everybody else also came to the date. It was awkward.

In which we get a dozen different emotions for the price of one.

I’d like to vote this episode the least likely to answer anything without producing twelve more questions in its wake.

This week on “Faking It,” Amy sends Karma on a birthday scavenger hunt that somehow doesn’t lead her to The Planet.

Shit is going down in the bathroom, y’all.

An exasperated trans woman and her three narcissistic kids walk into a bar.

Weed! Talent shows! More weed! A dildo!

In which a number of plans go awry.

I think Poussey could say she’s invented the toilet brush and y’all would buy yourselves at least six toilet brushes, you would have a room in your house just for toilet brushes.

The recap in which I realize everything that’s wrong about the fact we’re only watching this show for the queers and not the content.

This week on “Faking It,” Amy goes to a hot underground rave party and interacts romantically with another girl who likes girls!

Get ready for the liveblog of your dreams. Join me while I talk all of the shit and enjoy the last few hours of my birthday. Saved by the Bell forever.

“Journalist dude’s mouth says ‘no problem, let me know if you change your mind’ but his face says ‘I AM VRY DISAPPOINTED IN U PIPER U ARE ACTING LIKE SEASON 1 PIPER RN’.” Caputo makes a cameo with a tiny plant.

The Prodigal Daughter of White Trojan Horsery has returned to Litchfield, minus her bespectacled toxic popsicle and plus a newer harder attitude. What adventures await our little vanilla wafer? Time can only tell, inmating ritualists.

Litchfield, O Litchfield! How hast thee fared? Didst thou miss me? Much as I have learned over time to not only tolerate Piper but also genuinely enjoy what she brings to the show, a Piperless Litchfield is somehow the best Litchfield yet.

They’re not gonna kill off Cosima, right? I swear to Jeebus, if they Chaiken Cosima I’m gonna be so pissed.