Lena and Stef’s gaggle of children make it impossible for them to get their scissor on. Again.

Say some Hail Marys and make a sign of the cross, because these episodes are a hot, sexy mess. If you’ve been hanging in there and waiting for some extra-flamey gay witch action, then these episodes are for you.

This week on Glee, Sue Sylvester turns out to be a Klaine shipper and you’ll get “A Thousand Miles” stuck in your head again.

Calzona is the worst couple combo name ever. It’s like something you can order at Pizza Hut but shouldn’t because it will give you a heart attack and/or hella greasy pores.

This week on “Faking It,” Amy doesn’t win Miss Congeniality, but neither does Lauren, and neither does Karma. Neither does Liam! Or Duke or Shane or Reagan. But everybody’s hair looks GREAT.

The Good Wife’s best character continues to be Kalinda Sharma’s trench coats.

In which we scrape the bottom of the Grey’s Anatomy rice pot for the gay pegao.

Due to the fact that Arizona and Callie are stuck with Another Baby as their storyline, liberties were taken to spice up this week’s recap. You’re welcome, America.

Wherein in Alex Vause returns and we all collectively wet our pants.

This week on “Faking It,” Amy woke up in bed with Liam, Tommy spills Lauren’s secret, and Karma waterboards Amy’s heart! Welcome back!

In which there is an expedition to a mall, an argument under the cover of night, and cucumber water.

Welcome to a deluxe two-in-one review of the sixth and seventh episodes of season two of Orphan Black! These would have been up sooner, but things like A-Camp, A-Plague, and A-Pain of Returning to the Hetero World have sidelined me. So what did I miss? ALL THE THINGS, apparently.

Everybody comes back to help us forget everything that happened while they were gone, like heterosexuality!

Is it just me or does it seem like this episode has a lot of people smelling other things. Why is everyone smelling everything?

“Creepy doll teleports itself onto her bed and slowly turns its head. Clearly, Anne is made of braver stuff than I, because this is the moment I would’ve set the entire house on fire.”

In which Maura makes a friend, the siblings continue to make terrible interpersonal choices, and also there are some geese.

Renee and Barbara are in love, pass it on.

With one episode to go before the mid-season break, we catch up with the Liars as they almost make out with each other for three straight episodes.

Because there was no way to fit another Halloween into the senior year the Liars have been living for the last five years, we earned an actor retrospective!

In which neither Callie nor Arizona can ever respect boundaries and pickles become things that help save lives.