“This is fine. I don’t need to graduate school.”
“Work is keeping you busy?” “No, I’ve been busy going on dates!”
“I thought downloading Tinder would be a good idea, but I’m WAY too shy to do anything on it.”
“I may not be rich monetarily, but at least I’m rich in margaritas.”
“If by nice night you mean a nice night to wallow in your own GUILT in the dark, then yes, I agree.”
“I can list everyone on the US Women’s Soccer Team from least gay to most gay haircut!” “I can’t even appreciate what a cool and vital skill that is because I’m too sad!”
The Grease Bats react to the President-Elect.
“Where do we stand on my confetti canon? Should I bring it to camp?”
“Relationship Milestone: Buying a two-pack of coconut oil to make vegan gingerbread for her, then never hanging out again.”
“Straighter than an arrow! Straighter than a ruler! Straighter than uncooked spaghetti! Straighter than your parents! Straighter than a 401k!”
“I’m calling it Carbmas now.”
Our radical history, straight parents and queer sex ed, “latinx” gets an official ruling, Cora Harrington, San Junipero, saying goodbye to Rookie, some architectural criticism, and more!
Pipkin’s into the treat bag again!
“Can we all just take a moment to appreciate the phrase ‘menstrual confetti?'”
Impress your tattoo artist, confront your braggy woke friend, leave your fiancee, plus two HR questions get answered by a real professional!
“All my favorite lesbian love stories start when the hats align.”
If ‘Cuddle Top’ is not already a thing, I will make it one.
“HOW ARE YOU CUTTING ONIONS IN MY APARTMENT FROM SO FAR AWAY”
In the grand scheme of things, we’re really all just here for Cate Blanchett’s boobs.
Crack me like one of your French pistachios.