TGIT premieres with six queer women!

Mimi Whiteman deals with the fallout of her upended threesome with Lucious on Empire, it’s time to talk about Once Upon a Time for real, Grey’s Anatomy keeps getting magnificently gayer, and Carmilla definitely did something to Perry.

In sadder news: Famke Janssen is out of town on How to Get Away With Murder and Riese really likes Scream Queens.

Empire and American Horror Story get it wrong, Grey’s gets it right, and Carmilla and Laura still aren’t smooching enough!

Scream Queen, Grey’s Anatomy, Empie, Steven Universe, Carmilla, Arrow, Rosewood, Grandfathered, and so much more!

Ben stops misgendering his trans sister and Callie finally grins!

Callie agrees to go on a date with a police officer whose life she saved, kind of.

Callie went on an off-screen date with that dude cop and hated him. We did all that processing for nothing!

Derek comes back and is worse than a leech trapped in your face.

Supernatural kills Charlie, Gotham tropes Barbara, Arrow marries Nyssa off to a man. But on the upside, Samira Wiley crushed it on Law & Order: SVU and Raven was amazing on Black-ish.

Callie and Arizona try to move on without each other. Obviously it only takes Callie three seconds to make another woman fall in love with her.

It’s the episode where instead of having sex Callie and Arizona have an emotional conversation in a quiet section of the hospital. Holy shit, aren’t you excited? This is life mimicking art, y’all.

Calzona is the worst couple combo name ever. It’s like something you can order at Pizza Hut but shouldn’t because it will give you a heart attack and/or hella greasy pores.

In which we scrape the bottom of the Grey’s Anatomy rice pot for the gay pegao.

Due to the fact that Arizona and Callie are stuck with Another Baby as their storyline, liberties were taken to spice up this week’s recap. You’re welcome, America.

In which neither Callie nor Arizona can ever respect boundaries and pickles become things that help save lives.

Why talk about TV all the time when we can just get legendary internet recluse scribegrrrl to come summarize the last three months of television for you? 30 Rock, LOST, Spartacus, American Idol, Dollhouse, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, Damages, Modern Family, Nip/Tuck, and so much moar!

Our resident Televisionary is out of town, but we still have tons of opinions on the past week of TV! I mean, Gossip Girl had a threesome AND Lady Gaga, we can’t just put that on hold.