“When I was diagnosed, and realizing how it affected me outside of the way that I eat, it’s these processes throughout my day or the way that my personality functions. It isn’t that disruptive, but having the framework helped. Finding kink, having the words for it, helped contextualize the sex that I like to have, the friendships that I like to have, the dynamics that I like to have and the relationships in general.”

Kink is something that I can contextualize my life around, around eroticism generally, and that felt so at home in my brain. That I can have a container for a thing, that it is healthy to have a container for things.

The latest in Queer Sex 101, our series of real live queer people teaching you everything you need to know about real queer sex continues, with a one-hour workshop from sex educator, Autostraddle writer, SLICK editor and More, Please! editor Ro White on strap-on sex.

You are just picking up Naomi. Your very good friend, Naomi, whom you have only not-so-jokingly offered to take up on her not-so-joking offer to fuck for a decade. She literally just got emotionally gut punched by some fuckboy. Don’t be another fuckboy. Not today. Unless she initiates. Fuck, she always initiates. Fuck, I missed my exit.

Made me want to / and I did tap / that ass / many times / made it mine.

May is Masturbation Month! Here’s your guide to doing you as only you can.

Here is a beginner’s guide to sending really hot sexts to your casual date, your girlfriend, and every babe in between. You’re welcome.

Stretching can certainly prevent your muscles from getting sore, but focusing on your posture and form will give you the best finger sex results.

You shouldn’t have pain during sex. If you want to explore penetration, that has to be a choice you’re making for your own pleasure.

My acceptance of my own pain allows me to have the kind of sex that is rooted in the specificity of my body. I don’t love the idea that I’ll never fist, but I do love the idea that every act of sex I engage with is collaborative. Queerness reminds me that there is no standard way to fuck or live.

What do we feel our sexual IDs “mean” about us as “people”? Do they have overlaps with our sense of self outside of bed? Do we notice others assuming these things about us (or projecting them onto us)? If so, is that annoying or helpful? Do they get at authentic ways that our sexual dynamics are natural expressions of other parts of our personhood?

Can two switches have sex? I think so, and I think there is something beautifully different about having sex with someone with whom sexual options are truly abundant.

How have you defined (or not) your role over time? Has it changed, did you at first think you “were” one thing and now you ID differently? how did that feel and what did it bring up? How do you ID now, and where do you see it as part of that ~ journey ~?

If you’re feeling sexual desire for friends or if you like the idea of a “friends with benefits” situation, then it seems that most widely-accepted definition of “demisexual” still encompasses your experience. But the more important questions here are: what do you want and why do you want it?

Allison Moon’s Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex is about more than scissoring strangers — it’s about cultivating self-awareness and sexual self-esteem. Hookup culture might look different right now, but communication and boundaries are perhaps more important than ever before. The skills outlined in Getting It will help you navigate virtual slutdom in this challenging new era of distance. And if you want to gracefully transition into a post-pandemic world of IRL sexcapades, then you better start studying up now.

Thank you so much to everyone who came to the live facilitation of this educational workshop led by Shelli! If you missed it, you can watch the recording here and refer to the provided transcript!

“I picked up the tentacle attachment and clicked it into place. For a moment, nothing happened – then, the tip began to move, seeking out something to touch, and the entire shaft lit up with sensation.”

There is a different level of intimacy and affirmation that I have found when having sex with other fat people. Thin people approach the fat body like a series of insecurities. They see the swell of a stomach or rolls of fat on the back and assume that you hate those parts of your body. When another fat person touches me, it is to be made whole.

The thing is: sometimes I like feeling disposable, like I’m just a bunch of holes that someone else is using for their pleasure. I know I’m fucking powerful, so sometimes I like to release control, let someone else do the work and have the power. That only works, though, when my boundaries are respected.

Because of the positive affirmation I received during sex, I began to believe it was all I was good for. When people wanted me, I assumed it was my job to provide joy for other people. I gave myself to a lot of people in that way. I had to remember that I had a right to pleasure as well.