That’s right, we’ve got a BONUS EPISODE for you today and are gonna be doing a LIVE episode tomorrow! We are soothing the pain of departure, like how Jenny fell into a pool.

Ah, bodies. These sacks of meat, bones and skin that we must drag around until we come up with a better way to get through this thing called life. We knew we needed to dig into this and who better to do it with than the one and only Samantha Irby?

“Imagine if I was dating Desiree Akhavan, and I was like, “You know what I’m going to do? Steal my ex from Rosie O’Donnell.” No! How thrilling! My ex is with Rosie O’Donnell and we get to all hang out and I’m dating Desiree Akhavan? That’d be amazing.”

“Why is she being like, ‘Oh, I can’t kiss you. I’m in a relationship.’ Like, no, you’re not. You met an older woman at a party last weekend. Who among us hasn’t? Take it easy.”

“My next note on this scene is, “I literally screamed in this hotel room,” which is true.”

“Analyssa, no, that’s National Treasure, that’s not The L Word: Generation Q. I know they’re very similar.”

“As a person of Midwestern experience, I can say that a Lake House is supposed to be on a lake.”

“Sepideh Moafi’s tongue is acting. Her tongue has more compelling storylines this season than many of the core characters, I would argue.”

Willam: They said, “Mia, go get a piece of the stage, and just really gnaw at it. No, chew harder, honey. You can chew harder. No, this is the last season. We don’t even need these sets anymore. Chew it up, baby. Chew it.”
Carly: Yeah, who cares? “Chew it up. Spit it out.”
Willam: And Mia chewed the fuck out of it.

“You can trust someone not to kill you with a knife, but still not trust them with your feelings.”

“In Gigi’s head she’s always calculating everything and very aware of everyone’s emotions and very aware of her own emotions and then does the chaotic thing anyways. And that’s how I live my life and I love to see it on TV in someone so hot.”

John: Could you imagine you and Dylan just got done cunnaling-ing together, you’re in bed, the California sun is basking on you. And then you turn to Dylan and you’re like, “We have to get up so we can go to Max’s Willy Wonka baby shower.” That’s the thing you interrupt with.

Our episode topic this week is Best Sex Ever so we are talking about… the best sex we’ve ever had! We’re joined by Autostraddle writer, poet, and journalist Dani Janae as we get into what makes good sex good.

“I’ve been very precious about getting my hair wet but I would get my hair wet to kiss Gigi in the rain.”

“I think everyone should make love to a plastic spoon at least once in their lifetime.”

“I’m really hoping throughout this podcast, you start dating like crazy, and maybe I settle down? Who knows what could happen?”

“If I was accidentally on a date with Gigi, it would be the best day of my life.”

“Womp, womp, womp. It’s the new Shane theme song. It used to be a gnarly guitar riff and now it’s a sad trombone.”

This episode is all about lesbian interconnectivity — hooking up with friends’ exes, friends hooking up with our exes, and the culture created by all that drama. Come for the gossip, stay for the emotional processing.

Carly: I feel like if I confusedly kissed Jennifer Beals, I would also have to move away.
Christina: I would have to join WITSEC. I would be like, “Listen, get me on a USA cable drama because I got to go. I’m losing it.”
Carly: “I got to go. Give me a wacky sidekick, we can go fight crime together, or whatever. Maybe we’re lawyers. We’re going to wear suits and my name is not Carly anymore.”
Christina: “I can’t be Christina anymore because my mouth has been on Jennifer Beals’ mouth.”