Angie announces, “I’m the jefe now!” with one of the harshest American “j” sounds ever and decides there will be a talent show and the guard/hostages will perform. So, we know where this is going.

We’ll never know the answers because the season ends here and Netflix FUCKING CANCELED THIS POIGNANT AND ARTFUL MASTERPIECE OF A SERIES. No, YOU’RE crying.

After four episodes of chaos and lack of direction both within Litchfield and the overall arc of the season, Orange Is the New Black finally managed to pull it together enough to produce an episode worth watching (save for one MAJOR issue).

At the end of the day, Kat, Sutton, and Jane always have each other.

Mariah and Tessa smooched on The Young and the Restless, Maggie found love in an Irish place on Younger, and Ryan Murphy is still Ryan Murphy.

Plus, American Horror Story is covered in S.C.U.M., The Shannara Chronicles has bedazzled eyebrows, and more queer lady TV updates!

Really, Linda? Really?

The SWAT team approaches and Larry returns. LARRY.

Spectacles rely on spectators, and I for one am not going to be pulled into this show anymore just to watch violence for the sake of violence. I can watch the news and do that, thanks.

Fall TV is back in full swing and we’ve got updates on Broad City, American Horror Story, Grey’s Anatomy, The Shannara Chronicles, How to Get Away with Murder, and Ten Days in the Valley.

We’re also checking in on Queen Sugar, How to Get Away With Murder, and Grey’s Anatomy!

“You’re gonna want a quick, catchy clickbait. Something to really grab the liberal market — that’s who you wanna appeal to.”

After an episode of literal torture, OITNB focuses on the stories it tells best: the ones about family.

The babies are coming, the babies are coming!

What a trip, man.

Emison I guess?

Kara is being worshipped by a cult, Sam is invited to Girls’ Night, Alex has a breakdown; it’s a lot, honestly.

Rachel is fucking metal and don’t you ever forget it again.

You didn’t expect to have your heart broken and healed and broken and healed, over and over and over again, when you started watching a sci-fi western for the kissing girls, now did ya?

Everyone is happy, just for a minute.