“i love it when middle age white women lose their shit and yell in lengthy monologues, too”

It’s the season finale and we’ve got Roxane Gay, emotionally complicated sex, Bette Porter in hiking attire, Dani wanting to get married ASAP and honestly a lot of things that I can’t put in the excerpt because I don’t want to reveal any spoilers for people who haven’t seen it yet! Wheeee!

Ask for what you want in order to get it, Area 51 porn searches, your astrological sign’s best breakup strategy and more.

Making queer friends in quarantine, holding a candle for your ex, being out as bisexual at work, unpacking a past relationship with boundary issues, poly nesting feelings, roommates who make you feel like a fifth wheel, social media related envy in your creative community, and MORE! Become an A+ Member today to submit your own advice questions, get access to this twice monthly series, and keep Autostraddle going for everyone.

The fact is most of the films about us — and especially the films by us — do not get the attention they deserve. But nobody is better equipped to tell our stories than we are.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it is perfectly fine and legal to ask someone for directions when you are lost.

By the time you realize what story Jessica Jones is really telling, it’s too late to look away.

Recovering after being ghosted, dealing with queer tokenism, knowing if you’re a top or a bottom, straight people are STILL not ok, and did that organizer ask you for an organizing coffee or a COFFEE coffee??

Be the cool queer cousin you wished for as a kid, the polite way to turn someone down, sex is still great without an orgasm, creating your own queer community when you feel alone in the world, and 20 other questions from everyday readers like you!

I don’t want to put any songs on my breakup playlist that any of my exes have used, or are using, to woo their new girlfriends.

I spent my adolescence trying to be a boy. I wasn’t very good at it, but I tried really, really hard. I didn’t wear bright colors, I didn’t listen to pop music, I didn’t even style my hair until I was 17. I certainly wasn’t the kind of person to dress in drag. And yet I was. And yet I did. Because when I was 16 I won a drag show in Florence.

Tell us, do you have any superstitions?

Bushwork — work done in the backcountry, often off-grid — offers a kind of freedom difficult to find in modern life. It is also a culture steeped in toxic masculinity in which queer women do not have a place.

Pop culture makes it easy to believe that having feelings for someone means you need to act on it. We explore why it can actually be healthy to have feelings for people without being attached to a specific outcome, or needing to tell them, and have you can process it on your own.

Also, Aisha Hinds is going to break your heart on 911. Plus updates on HTGAWM, Legacies, S.W.A.T., and the finale of American Horror Story: 1984.

Tales of the City leans into some tropes, flips others on their head, makes plenty of jokes at its own expense, and — above all — believes in the power of LGBTQ people who come together to make their own family. 

Seize control of your image! Be hot as a form of revenge! Do it for you! Just feel good about something in a time when it’s so easy to feel bad about everything!

I want to talk about loving and investing in friendship with the same fervor many of us have been taught to treat romantic relationships only.

The 2010s was an incredibly gay decade in music. Queer and trans musicians gained more visibility and success than ever before over the last 10 years! Here are the best 50 albums of the decade, according to me.

As a perfectionist, I’ll always be more comfortable sharing my shiny conclusions than my messy processes. And the best thing about climbing, for me, is that it’s pure process.