NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday: The Beginning of Sex, The End of Bed Death

It’s April, which means girls all over the country are probably fucking in the grass. You know how we do. Girls gotta find a place to kiss girls where we won’t get sexually harassed by people other than each other — all this is going on while apparently “the end of sex” has been declared. There are trend pieces about it. It’s depressing, but also, about straight people:

I began to imagine that a kind of sex-themed Andromeda Strain had fallen upon the post-30s female population of Earth, causing them to turn away from men. But no, said another friend; sexual disengagement was an equal-opportunity employer when it came to gender, not to mention age.

No mention of sexual orientation because there aren’t any queers in this story and it’s because we’re in a total sexual renaissance where all this new stuff is suddenly available to us.

It’s like how straight people probably felt in The Middle Ages, or whenever, all the knights with their spears and the maidens who were probs lying about being maidens, etc.

Basically, what’s happened is the straights have culturally appropriated lesbian bed death for themselves, which is good news for all of us here.

Feministe takes the article to task, however, pointing out something about maybe women not being into their husbands anymore that reminds me of a thing someone said last week — “the key to fixing my sex drive was sleeping with someone I’m actually attracted to.” The comments on that article are pretty interesting, too.

Bottoms Up (Thumbs Up): “Now apparently masculine-of-center people aren’t supposed to be bottoms.  In fact, one of Jae’s former girlfriends called her appearance misleading.  Um…wtf?  How Jae responded and responds is by making her sexual preferences really obvious and open.  Have I mentioned that we met on OKCupid?  “Bottom” was in the first sentence of her profile.” (@butchlab)

Girl Talk – My Sister Taught Me How to Masturbate: “I was 14 and I was having slippery feelings. I was having them for Roelle, the sophomore with giant tits who told me she liked my shirt, before crawling under a wool blanket to make out with her boyfriend on the front lawn of the high school. I was having them for Eleanor, who told me it was her dad’s birthday the three times I asked her to hang out. I was even having them for Colleen, who was only 4’7”, and who ate her height in Taco Bell tacos, and who therefore smelled like she had been bathing in a vat of expired salsa.” (@the frisky)


Some arbitrary compilations for people who are into this kind of thing: Celebrities who go Nude for Magazines and 17 Celebrity Nip Slips.

There’s this moleskine tumblr you might like. It’s in French. This is from it:

Remember when girlcrushing disappeared? Laneia does. Anyhow, this is even better, it’s called “I like ladies” and you’ll likely wanna spend a little bit of your afternoon on this tumblr.

Omg! A revolutionary idea: what if making babies isn’t the real reason for having sex? (Also, didn’t we make this point a long time ago)

Also have you seen this trailer for Orgasm Inc? Looks intense, and also JUST on topic enough for us to end here:

O rgasm Inc. Official Trailer from Astrea Media on Vimeo.

If you have any feelings about “the end of sex” or any of the other topics discussed in this post, you can share them at this time. Thank you.

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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3164 articles for us.

24 Comments

  1. Yes, it’s april. Yes I’m madly in love. Best thing: so is she. Even better: we wanna get married! EVEN better than that: the thought of being married to her is a huge HUGE turn on, instead of a thing to cause lesbianbeddeath.
    F*ck, you guys, I may be one of those lucky few who gets to marry the One and call her my wife all the while knowing she’s all I want for the rest of my life in and outside of the bedroom. @ so freaking happy it must annoy people but I don’t care.

    • This is beautiful. It wonderful you have found your love! The opposite of being annoyed, it makes me feel warm and happy for you and even a little teary eyed (I am an easy cry). Best wishes to you and your love!

  2. i think my bed is a black hole. girls just disappear in it and i never see them again. i’m sure that’s an insult somewhere….

  3. Thanks guys. Reading NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday in bed with my girl friend while drinking seriously strong french roast coffee and eating berries is turning into a thing for us….not to mention eating an occasional peach….

  4. I LOVE this! Before I came out of the closet I just COULD NOT understand why I didn’t want to have sex with my husband. Like that woman in the article I would have paid someone to fuck him so I wouldn’t have to.

    After coming out of the closet I realize that I didn’t want to have sex with him because I DON’T LIKE PENIS! Huge revelation there!!! However, admitting that meant a whole world shift and I didn’t know if I was ready for that.

    Cue me saying “I don’t like penis” to myself in the mirror over and over again to the point that I was ready for divorce.

    So, I left my husband, came roaring out of the closet, fell in love with my partner (we’ll have been together 2 years in July) and now know I can never, never, NEVER get tired of girl sex. EVER! I love it, I breathe it, I want it quite frequently and WAY more than I ever wanted hetero sex! I am happy and do not believe in bed death anymore….at least not for myself!!

    • ..and I love this! Now that is what I call never looking back with a vengeance! Love your attitude!!

  5. In my personal (and unprofessional) opinion, I think this “end of sex” thing is just the usual b.s. Haven’t there been a bunch of other studies/articles recently that claim women don’t peak sexually UNTIL they are 30 and then have the best sex of their lives?

    People have sex. They always have, and they always will.

    /shrug.

    (I really laughed at the part in the article that was like “hipsters! some of them go to parties and don’t hook up! and they’re okay with that! OMGWHAT. kids these days, man”)

    On a sidenote, that ilikeladies tumblr is great. Followed :D

  6. I saw “the end of sex” and laughed because I finally got some action recently. Indiana sucks for gay girls.

    • Congratulations on the action! Missouri also sucks for gay girls. incidentally, i also got some action recently. “the end of sex”, indeed.

      • HIGH FIVE! We should share our tips for picking up chicks in red states (at Catholic schools…)

      • Saint Louis girl here. Yeah Missouri sucks for it. I ended up just leaving the bloody the country and moving to Prague and boy howdy; these girls are easy. I’ve now been in a relationship with this gorgeous Serbian bird I met here for over a year, by the way. In short, move to Europe.

  7. Don’t believe the “death bed” hype. Been together 28 years and there are still plenty of signs of life in these two old girls. As they say…IT GETS BETTER!

  8. How do you join tumblr if you don’t have a url? I’m confused!! I want to join tumblr! :(

  9. @ lindseyhart: ((())) <– that's a hug. A teary eyed hug. Can anyone be so goddamnfreaking happy that they actually burst into a million little rainbowcoloured gayhearts&glitter?
    Ah and KateKane: THAT. I want THAT too! So so good to read that even after being together for so long you guys still get it on.

  10. Hi, I’m the girl who runs ilikeladies. :)
    Thank you SO much for talking about my blog in your article! I’m a huge fan of Autostraddle and this was honestly the most surprising and awesome thing that’s happened to me in a long while.

    By the way, it was such a tragedy when girlcrushing disappeared… So sad about that one. But it makes me smile to hear that you like my blog!
    Plenty of girls coming, just because of you. :)

    – Sydney

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