NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Wants To Make Sex Radical

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ Why we should embrace a pleasure-centred idea of sex:

“In a better reality, sexuality would be understood as a fundamental part of human existence, its good inherent and not dependent on how it can be leveraged. Why? Because pleasure is a good thing. We should all feel more of it when we can. And sex, for many people, is a source of a uniquely wonderful range of pleasurable feelings – physical, emotional and spiritual.

It’s a simple concept, but in a society so disordered and divided when it comes to sex, it’s a radical one. Sex should feel good. Maybe that means candles and a rose-petal-filled bathtub. Maybe it means restraints and role-play. Maybe it means feeling gorgeous when you live in a body that advertisers tell you is ugly or wrong. Maybe it means having sex with someone of the same gender. Maybe it means feeling great about not having sex at all.

Pleasure-centered sexuality means that sex doesn’t have to come with self-loathing or anxiety; sex doesn’t have to be performative or even “normal”.”

+ Solo Poly talks about “friends with benefits” versus “dating” and how even though some people use friends with benefits to mean “person I am embarrassed to be seen with / might drop at a moment’s notice / do not actually value as a human being” writing off the term entirely is limiting:

“I’d allowed other people’s bad behavior and prevailing social norms to color my thinking about an entire category of intimate relationship — one that, in fact, I’ve been engaging in and enjoy quite well. By resisting that term, I was effectively cockblocking myself, reducing my options for mutually beneficial intimate connections.

The fact is, people can behave badly in ANY style of relationship. So if I choose to say “FWB” it’s up to me to make sure I walk my talk about the “friends” part. Also I make it clear to those partners: if they decide that, because we’re giving each other orgasms, they’re entitled to treat me disrespectfully — we’re done.”

Coreena, via coreena

Coreena, via coreena

+ Carlin Ross writes about what it’s like to orgasm on film:

“We shot from 11 am to 6pm. I literally orgasmed for 7 hours. We set up two cameras for each orgasm position – a tight pussy shot and a wide body shot. I looked right at the camera and described how I was stimulating my body…what I was feeling…why orgasm was important to me. I was panting – out of breath – sweating from head-to-toe. At one point, I just collapsed on the floor. Lawrence grabbed the camera and ran it down my body. I shared how my fingers and toes were tingling. The camera panned to my pussy to document my erection…the reddening of my labia and plumping of my clitoris.

It was so intimate. It was so pure. It’s the most honest work I’ve ever done.”

+ Sailor writes about what it’s like to come out as a kinky switch:

“Just like when I came out first as gay, then as trans, and then finally as queer parts of me and my behavior that were viewed either by me or by others as strange all of a sudden had an explanation. I’M A SERVICE-ORIENTED SUBMISSIVE AND A MASOCHIST! What that clarity felt like was AMAZING. Now, fast forward to three years ago. I was at a play party and a couple of friends of mine were about to start playing with someone else. Among their arsenal of toys was a hockey stick. As I chatted with my friends I became curious of said hockey stick so one of my friends asked the person bottoming if I could hit her with it. She said okay so my friend asked me to hit her with the stick. I ended up hitting this girl with the wrong end. I found the moment amusing for sure but after being told of the error I’d made, I sheepishly walked away from them. To this day my friends cite that moment as a clear sign of my being a switch and it makes sense now because I like to consensually hurt people. It’s fun for me to hear the scream that comes as a result of something I’ve done but for years since that hockey stick incident, I denied at every opportunity that I was a sadist not because I had any shame of my desire to inflict pain, but because in my mind, I didn’t fit what a sadist should be like. I’m not big, mean, or particularly strong; I don’t wield giant floggers or long single tails; I’m not particularly mean when I play (at least I don’t think I am); and I don’t carry giant bags of equipment to play parties. Those signs were what for a long time indicated to me that someone was a sadist and since I’m not any of those things I just described, there’s NO WAY I can be a sadist, right?”

+ August is Anal Month!

+ Police blame Fifty Shades of Grey for a growing number of “handcuff incidents.”

+ Sometimes, sex toys are scary.

+ Are crowd-funded vibrators the future?

+ England, China, Iran and Saudi Arabia now restrict access to online porn, and Denmark, Iceland, Norway and Sweden seem to be facing a similar public effort. It is unclear what this means for other countries, but its pretty clear that porn bans are band-aid non-solutions to underlying problems:

“Porn seems like an easy target when compared to the deeper, more institutional problems women and children face. How are we to deal with the widespread domestic violence that wracks families everywhere and is compounded by the never-ending recession, the new economic normal? How are we to end sex trafficking? And what about all those girls and women who experience sexual violence, including date rape, at the hands of a partner?

Porn invokes people’s worst sexual fears/fantasies. Yet, it’s a fight almost impossible to win. Anti-porn activists are unsettled by the enormous increase and easily availability of porn (especially “hard-core or “gonzo” porn). They claim such porn harms women and children, contributing directly to gender inequality, violence against women and children and sex trafficking. This assertion is much debated. It’s not been made clear how restricting porn will put a stop to the actions that harm all too many women and girls in America.”


All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.


Before you go! It takes funding to keep this publication by and for queer women and trans people of all genders running every day. And A+ members keep the majority of our site free for everyone. Still, 99.9% of our readers are not members. A+ membership starts at just $4/month. If you're able to, will you join A+ and keep Autostraddle here and working for everyone?

Join A+
Related:

Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1137 articles for us.

13 Comments

  1. The scariest vibrators amuse me and remind me of all those hours my friends and I spent looking at similar things (e.g, animal penis dildo and twilight ones – icy and hairy…) as well as ones we’d actually use and m/m porn on mute because I was the only lesbian there so I lost out to the het and bi girl, lol.

    Definitely agree with pleasure-centred sex and also like a good link to a curvy women blog. ;)

  2. Also! Kinda glad I “first”* tried anal in Anal Month!

    TMI WARNING: Except, I think I did it wrong because I ended up with pain and farting (lots of) blood until the next morning. I later pooped just fine, so I think I’ve recovered now. Best to wait a while before I try it again, I think.

    *I spent a large amount of time as a child with my fingers up my arse (but because I was afraid of fissures).

      • Blood is definitely bad. Research is always good when trying anal for the first time. Get all the lube up in there, the anus absorbs water, so you have to have buttloads (pun most certainly intended) to make sure you stay well lubricated. Start slow and keep going slow if you need to. Make sure you’re plenty aroused and relaxed. And then yeah, lube. Gloves are also a great idea. I use nitrile gloves because they’re handy to get (still punning) at the supermarket nearby.

        Also, start small! One finger or a small butt-plug is totally fine. You can work your way up. That just means more opportunity for sexy times. And that’s really not a bad thing, in the end.

        • I’m thinking I wasn’t gentle enough as I only used one finger, clipped my nails right before and used lube (maybe not enough?). It didn’t hurt at all at the time so I thought what I was doing was fine. :/

  3. the scary sex toys made my day.

    Although there is absolutely nowt wrong with most of that – dragon aesthetics in fact impressed me and tentacles are a win because who doesn’t like Edo period painting. and religious icons are for kids, pros use bible character/fantasy fusions (like my Fun Factory Mermaid).

    But icicle bunny is just adorably wonderful and i (a real-life prototype of Andersen’s Snow Queen – have you ever thought that the mirrorshards might not be reflecting ‘twisted lies’ but the actual world as experienced by her) want it so badly, to add to my collection of glass and metal.

  4. It’s a beautiful picture, but do we really need to source photos from sites with names like “Real Women Have Curves” (or any variation thereof)? I don’t mean to nitpick but site titles like this are not body-positive and send negative messages about women whose bodies don’t have curves. Anyone who identifies as a woman is a real woman, no matter what her body looks like.

    • It’s really hard for the editors to find an appropriate microcosm of the queer female community in…8 pictures? (in this case) and nearly every week, someone is complaining about something. All of which are legitimate complaints, yes (not enough women of color, not enough curvy women, not enough curvy women of color, not enough masculine of center people–incidentally, something that is hard to tell with clothes off.) The editors pore over the internet for a LOT of hours to bring you this. I would have given up by now. Yes, we are aware that real women have curves or DON’T have curves and curves don’t define womanhood.

      but compared to everything else, isn’t this relatively innocuous? Is this image source really worth complaining over (clearly, the title is meant to empower curvy women)? Would you rather the image be removed and then the pictures be less representative (which someone would promptly complain about)?

      I would like to know a solution that doesn’t make the editors sit around and pore through tumblrs for 12 hrs instead of 6.

Contribute to the conversation...

Yay! You've decided to leave a comment. That's fantastic. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy. Let's have a personal and meaningful conversation and thanks for stopping by!