Feature image of Daisy Ducati and Ella Nova in Crash Pad Series episode 186. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Leigh Raven and Nikki Hearts in Crash Pad Series episode 217
Living apart together sounds like the perfect relationship:
“Bromley … sees a connection between the rise of LAT relationships among millennials and the rise of polyamorous and open relationships. ‘There’s always going to be a bit of a stigma doing something that’s not the status quo, but there’s definitely a rise in people designing their own relationships now,’ she explains. ‘People are beginning to understand that there isn’t a ‘right’ and a ‘wrong’ way to have a relationship. Linda, who asked to be called by her first name only, says that she and her husband, who live in separate apartments in Chicago, have found acceptance in the polyamorous community, even though they’re not currently polyamorous themselves. ‘Most people we know think we’re trailblazing, but we don’t mean to be.”‘”
Golden Curlz and Vivienne Vai in Crash Pad Series episode 273
If you have a body that loves hanging out with PMS and anxiety together in a terrible chemical threesome, it’s actually totally a thing and you’re not alone. (Note that the linked piece incorrectly equates “people with periods” and “women.”):
“Could having heightened stress in general—not just when you’re PMSing—cause your PMS to be overall more panicky and anxious? Most definitely yes, said Iram Kazimi, an MD and psychiatrist with McGovern Medical School at UTHealth in Houston. ‘Any chronic stress and anxiety is believed to make PMS symptoms worse,’ Kazimi said. ‘If you’re experiencing a period of stress and anxiety before your PMS symptoms occur, this may increase your PMS symptoms, which in turn will increase your stress and anxiety symptoms.'”
Chocolate Chip and Emperatrix in Crash Pad Series episode 278
Elizabeth Warren and some guy left sex workers out of their criminal justice plans:
“Every current member of the House and Senate running for president, Sanders and Warren included, has voted for FOSTA/SESTA, anti-trafficking legislation that sex workers say made it more dangerous to do their jobs. D’Adamo said a concrete discussion about what can be done on the federal level to decriminalize sex work could easily begin there, by changing their stance on the legislation and calling to reverse it.”
La Muxer Diosa and Zoie Blackheart in Crash Pad Series episode 281
What’s it like to be polyamorous and then have kids?:
“Many of the polyamorous families Dr. Sheff spoke during her research placed a higher value on chosen relationships than hierarchies of biological parenthood, and some included children adopted from their local communities. ‘I’ve known several polyamorous families who have adopted either queer youth, or young people their child meets at school, when it’s clear that their home life is not working out,’ Dr. Sheff said. ‘Whether that kid is yours by procreation or not becomes much less important. Who cares? The parent is the person who shows up. The parent is the person who does the hard work and takes care of that child on an emotional and physical and practical level,’ Dr. Sheff said.
Dr. Sheff also found that polyamorous parents, biological or otherwise, can help shape their child’s understanding of sexuality by modeling honesty, communication, and mutual respect within their romantic relationships. ‘It can be incredibly difficult for young people to come by accurate and compassionate information about sexuality,’ Dr. Sheff said. ‘Polyamorous parents are often willing to provide all sorts of information.'”
When my ex finally moves out I think I’ll be done with cohabitation. I’m sick of being the supportive sugar momma putting my dreams on hold to replace an actual adult’s shitty parents. I NEED MY SPACE and I have shit to do for myself. If I ever commit to a relationship again, they gotta have their own home. Thanks for helping me not feel like a total bitch for wanting that!
I’m in a similar situation. I’ve forever fantasized about living with a tribe, and I hope it someday happens, but right now I desperately need my own space and solo access to all mod cons.
Having a tribe is cool. I’ve been part of a close group of freaks, and it’s great, but they better have their own bathroom and place to sleep because I get stressed when other people are using my facilities. I PUT MY BLENDER THERE FOR A REASON and it better not be somewhere else when I want it
My wife and I have two suites beside each other in a house, and while we end up spending most of our time together we have our own space when we need or want it, and it is the actual most perfect arrangement possible. I know that’s not financially feasible for everyone though (and we’re lucky that our landlady keeps our rents pretty low).
See, that sounds great! Two reasonable adults being responsible and respectful together without fostering codependence. #blessed
I’ve never lived with a partner ( and never want to) and have lived alone for over 25 years. It’s really hard to meet women who don’t want to live with someone, even if that’s eventually rather than the 2nd date stereotype!
It is unclear why an NSFW article is talking about having kids.
Polyamorous people can sometimes experience situations where people try to mess with the custody of their children because other people mistakenly assume polyamorous people’s lives are hyper-sexual, and that they create inappropriate or unsafe homes for children. I’d think about spinning that off into its own article? It’s a bit jarring to see the paragraphs about caring for children, right beside porn.
The NSFW link roundup has always included links on relationships as well as on just sex. If you have a partner who has a kid, or have a partner who has a partner who has a kid, then that kid impacts your relationship.