NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Thinking About You In Bed

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ Queer porn star Dylan Ryan talked to the Rumpus about getting started in porn, Lovelace, slut shaming, empowerment, how porn is changing and more:

“I think there is a lot more porn than there used to be, and so, consequently, there are better representations of sexuality than there used to be and [it is] much more likely that each person will be able to find their personal turn-on or sexual ice cream. There are also one hundred more ways to objectify and pervert images of women, transpeople, and people of color. There is much more porn that is made with women in mind and much more porn that is focused on sex education. There are also one hundred more ways for people to get their porn and hundreds of additional ways for kids to see it and, without proper support, think that that’s what sex is supposed to be, without the necessary context. Porn has gotten even more fun and silly and awesome. It’s also gotten more trivial and focused on things like big boobs and hairlessness and huge penises (though there were some huge ones in the ‘70s) and fake sounds and an unrealistic standard of beauty. Porn has developed into so many genres and been explored as art, performance, research, communication; porn now has Porn Studies, has its own journal, has been looked at almost every which way you can look at it. Porn has also continued to be the thing we go to when we just need to get off.

Our relationships to porn remain complicated and incredibly simple. Porn has proliferated and taken so many hits. It prevails and continues to be one of the many pop culture meters that is both affected by what people want and determines what people want. It is the ultimate representation of human sexuality and the biggest way in which we incorrectly interpret human sexuality. Porn is us.”

+ This Modernist Pickup Lines tumblr is essential reading. Do I dare to eat a peach, if ya know what I mean?

+ Our anonymous Njoy Pure Plug review is also essential reading.

+ When it comes to research about sex, scientists need to look more at data and less at cultural assumptions.

osmoz via suicide girls

osmoz via suicide girls

+ Dating sites now act the way parents used to.

+ Oh Joy Sex Toy reviewed the JimmyJane Form 2.

+ Masturbation is often considered more shocking than sex, which is weird:

“We’re thoroughly comfortable with women’s bodies being sexualized — but not so much with women being sexual. That is not to mention that we’re still unaccustomed to depictions of female desire that emphasize sexual longing as opposed to manipulation or a narcissistic want to be wanted. Many were shocked when HBO’s famously raunchy “Girls” showed Marnie locking herself into a bathroom to jill off: As Nerve’s Rachel Krantz wrote [4] at the time, “OMG. A girl totally masturbated for about three seconds on HBO’s Girls last night. And apparently, that’s still a big deal.” That’s because women are supposed to be the un-desiring sex — or rather, the sex that desires the things we can get through intercourse, not the act itself.

Female masturbation forces us to acknowledge that women are sexual creatures, and that can be deeply disturbing for some. After all, we’re supposed to be the gatekeepers holding humanity together — and if we’re not at our post, then who is?”

+ The lesbian sex scene in Blue is the Warmest Color is really long:

“One of the first dispatches on the film from Cannes, courtesy of New York magazine, claimed, “I clocked the first sex scene between Adèle and Emma — replete with fingering, licking, and, as a friend called it, ‘impressive scissoring’ — at an approximate ten minutes. Audience walkouts began around minute nine. That turned into spontaneous applause (and relieved laughter), when the women climaxed and finished a minute later.” The reporter from Variety, meanwhile, wrote that it had “the most explosively graphic lesbian sex scenes in recent memory.”

Now, the scene may feel like it’s 10 minutes long, but it’s really a shade over seven. And yes, much of the feigned shock—or genuine, as it were—over the sequence can be credited to a mélange of tabloid sensationalism, the last vestiges of American Puritanism, and heteronormativity.”

+ Everyone has sex in relationships for different reasons, and positive goals lead to allegedly better sex:

“Two studies by University of Toronto researchers published this month in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, have divided the most common reasons why people have sex—and the ones most relevant to long-term relationships—into two broad categories of motivation: approach and avoidance. Approach motives pursue a positive outcome. (“I want to increase intimacy with my spouse” or “I want to feel closer to my partner.”) Avoidance motives aim to evade a negative outcome. (“I want to avoid conflict” or “I don’t want to feel guilty.”) […] The results: On days when a person’s motivation to have sex is more positively oriented, he or she felt more satisfied—both in the relationship and sexually—and had a higher level of desire. Conversely, on days when someone was motivated to have sex by more negative goals, he or she felt less satisfied and less desire.”

+ From R. Gay’s “Trash Talkin'” in Glamour Girls: Femme/Femme Erotica, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel:

“I stop talking, fucking her now with silent deliberate thrusts that I hope hurt as good as they feel. I slide my right hand back down her stomach to her clit — small, but hard and swollen and sensitive because I’ve barely touched it before she is moaning, loud enough for me to know I can do anything I want.”


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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.

13 Comments

  1. I really didn’t get what was so great about Blue is the Warmest Color. After all the praise, I expected so much more. The acting was fantastic, but basically everything else felt really unoriginal, a series of seen it already tropes (I giggled a bit when Emma started drawing Adèle). And now that I’ve read more about the book it was based on, I really wish someone else had got the rights and better explored the potential the story had.

    • The comic is a totally different animal from the movie, especially in terms of the ending. Also the Emma’s personality is totally different.

  2. So many straight men defending the sex scene in Blue is the Warmest Colour, how unsurprising. I keep hearing about how the director was openly abusive towards the crew, though, and I find this very disturbing and intend not to see the film because of it – other people keep brushing it off though? but then again these are the film festivals, reviewers, magazines etc who have no problems covering Polanski’s films so I guess that’s no surprise either.

  3. I’ve always been a huge proponent of masturbation, but even amongst my lesbian friends it seems taboo. Almost all of them are in relationships and their excuse is “why would I masturbate if I have someone willing to have sex, lying right next to me?” And my response is that there’s definitely times when you are in the mood and your person isn’t. Why suffer through the urge when you could just get off yourself?! But apparently that’s too crazy of a concept. I also think mutual masturbation is great and I don’t see anything wrong with doing it on a regular basis. In fact, I have a quota I set for myself and that at least masturbate 3 times a week. So far sit Ben working pretty good for me!

    Side note: I’ve secretly been wishing that autostraddle would create a monthly masturbation article… I could help with that! :D

  4. But if you’re masturbating in the bathroom, and I’m masturbating in the bathroom…
    THEN WHO’S DRIVING THE CAR!?

    Ahem. Sorry.

Comments are closed.