NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is a Brat Attack

Feature image of Mona Wales and Natalie Chen in Crash Pad Series episode 271. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Mistress Kara and Stefani Special in Crash Pad Series episode 220

What foods are safe to put in your vagina or asshole? Not a lot of them!:

“‘As a traditional medical gynecologist, I am not an advocate of putting food in the vagina,’ Dr. Dweck tells Broadly. ‘There is risk of infection in doing so, because any substance can potentially alter the pH of the vagina, or might be contaminated in some way, and lead to an infection.’

According to Dr. Dweck, one of the main risks of inserting food into the vagina is contact dermatitis, a rash which results in irritation and burning, but is not an infection. Still, UTIs, yeast infections, and bacterial vaginosis can occur as a result of introducing food to the vulva if bacteria colonizes near the urethra, or if the vagina can’t correct its altered pH level naturally after it’s introduced to something that sets it off balance, like various foods.”

When in doubt, don’t put it in your vagina or your asshole. Try some of these sex toys that don’t look like sex toys, some of which look like food instead.

Golden Curlz and Vivienne Vai in Crash Pad Series episode 273

FIST is a zine for leatherdykes created by BDSM sex educator, artist and writer Cristine, who spoke to Into about leatherdyke culture in the 80s, 90s, and now; the challenges of publishing a queer sex zine; how hard it is to learn about sadomasochistic queer history; and more:

“My only real access to leather history is through books and media. There aren’t many out there still in circulation, but they are so important and I wish that all the young people coming into the scene could read them. From what I’ve read, the way it used to be is that elders lead the community and there was more formal training for novices. In New York, where I live, there isn’t much of a close-knit scene. It feels like everyone is casually involved in SM, but not many view it as a lifestyle. There are various leather archives around the country (the most notable one in Chicago), but I haven’t been able to make it out there yet. This past September I went to the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco for the first time where I got to attend a documentary screening on the Catacombs (a fisting club active in the ‘70s in San Francisco) starring Gayle Rubin. The screening was obviously in a leather bar, it was honestly just perfect. I knew that Gayle Rubin had gotten a copy of FIST and I got to introduce myself and to thank her for what she’s done for all of us. Meeting one of the trailblazers was life-changing.”

Aleister Church and Byron Dubois in Crash Pad Series episode 272

Fun thing I learned from this piece: you can read selections from Brat Attack, a queer SM zine published 1991–94, online right here.

This piece in the Guardian totally erases contemporary consensual non-monogamy and polyamory, so read it if you want to feel mad and erased I guess? PSA that polyamory is real.

“The Best Personality” is “open to feelings, positive, and straightforward.”

Financial infidelity, “‘any purposeful financial deceit between two or more individuals’ who have ‘a stated or unstated belief in mutual honest communication around financial matters,’” is common and relates to being less satisfied in a relationship, according to a recent study. Charlotte Cowles at the Cut reports that the author of a different financial infidelity notes that there’s an easy solution: having a better idea of your own financial situation and decisions makes it easier to be clear about them with a partner when appropriate.

Men should stop writing about sex. Seriously. Just stop.

Starbucks will block its wifi users from watching porn in 2019. Please take a moment of silence for all the NSFW Sundays written between 2011 and 2015, when I was still going to Starbucks, that would not have existed had the ban gone into effect earlier. Thank you.

Just go to sleep. Preferably, next to a dog.

Mona Wales and Natalie Chen in Crash Pad Series episode 271

Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 935 articles for us.

7 Comments

  1. Wow, those literary passages were…bad.
    It‘s not hyperbole when I say that most virgin teenagers writing lesbian sex in slash fanfiction are doing better than this.
    Like, a lot.
    This almost makes me want to read „Fifty Shades of Grey“,that’s how bad this list is.
    Zero regrets about being a gold star lesbian,atm.
    Also, I’m overcome with the desire to send my straight female friends fruit and chocolate baskets, so that they’ll at least have some sensual joy in their life.
    Maybe throw some bath salts and candles in there,too.

    • I think it’s cause virgin teenagers:

      a) Likely have a better grasp on genitalia, especially if they masturbate manually, and actual desires as female people.

      b) They’re less likely to be over confident little shits and take more considerations with their scenes than a Big Time Author-Man does

      c) What you read informs your authorship, fan-fic is pound for pound better than mainstream writing cause writers of fan-fic never stop improving and have better more diverse pool of feedback/concrit.

      [i.e] Those virgins teens may have never had sex or even masturbated, but they’ve def read fic by authors who’ve been writing and evolving since the 90’s and likely have had plenty of sex by now. A Big Time Author-Man has likely only read stuff by other Big Time Author-Men and once they make it their grown stunts, the concrit pool is shallow and has the same reading list in their background.

      Sometimes I wish I was majoring in something at 4 year post-secondary school so I could use this as a thesis topic, but alas I’m rather dysgraphic and unwealthy.

      • To sum it up: They CARE about their characters and usually take great care to imagine what would feel nice for both (or more,or less) parties involved and then craft carefully what is often a pivotal scene in their story.
        This list has me flabbergasted,too, because those are published male authors who don’t give a lot of thought and zero care to the other half of their couplings. I mean..Haruki Murakami’s (he’s wildly popular in Germany) excerpt is using cheap hyperbole with a woman who is asleep. How is that even ok? And the rest…I’m pretty sure the guy with the enameled pepper grinder patted himself congratulatory on his back for his originality.

        • They care yeah and it’s bigger than people realise but truly better read than a mainstream Big Time Author-Man. There’s a reason Guy In Your MFA is the joke that it is, MFA programs are stagnant little pools of Big Time Author-Manning.
          Fan-fic authors have decades of honing their skills and reading libraries worth of works by others, MFA programs last what 4 years and the reading material is stale white-bread.

  2. YouPorn it’s banning Starbucks in their offices and Pornhub has, now, a “Safe for Work” category.

    Except if Starbucks is using a block designed by the CIA or the Pentagon, most of that crap can be pass and you don’t need to be a genius to do it.

    But yes, watching porn in a coffee shop? That’s my limit.

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