No Man’s Land Episode 3: Herbs To Your Mother

It’s almost Mother’s Day, tiny children of earth, and Anna and Shelly have a really cute Mother’s Day gift situation: a wall-mounted herb garden! That would really impress a lot of moms that I know. Not my mom — if I put holes in her walls she’d hyperventilate — but maybe yours? To be honest, I just want to make this adorable herb garden for my own self, which I think I could get away with because I’m someone’s mother.

In this episode of No Man’s Land, you can watch the girls dump dirt on each other’s chests and get really honest about beer guts, all while creating a beautiful herby oasis for their wall, and then make one for your mom! When it’s all said and done, you two can brainstorm other ways to use J-hooks around your house, because those things look awesome/magical.

Also I think we should start a What Hat Will Anna & Shelly Wear Next betting pool.

Do you have plans for Mother’s Day? What’s the best thing you’ve ever done for your mom or mom-type person to show that you care and appreciate her? If you could make anything grow from your walls, what would it be? I would grow a willow tree or a blueberry bush.

Or a water slide.


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Laneia is the Director of Operations and founding member of Autostraddle, and you're the reason she's here.

Laneia has written 922 articles for us.


  1. So to recap – This episode Shelly and Anna
    1) talk about motherhood
    2) Use herb(s) recreationally
    3)Anna ‘seeds’ Shelly
    4)alcohol is consumed
    AND they created new life!

  2. That’s awesome, but any other Brits screaming Herbs, with an H at the beginning!
    I love mint juleps. On a side note I once went to a pretentious bar where they served basil mojitos and I threw up. A lot. I couldn’t look my basil plant in the eye after that so I let it die. Sorry basil.

  3. Um, cue my sassy voice: Churchill Downs(/anyone else who knows) does NOT put limes in their mint juleps.

    But I’ll forgive them for that lapse, because that herb garden looks so freaking great, and so do they!

    • Agreed! Mint juleps should only contain muddled mint, bourbon, simple syrup, and a whole lotta ice. (though my Kentuckian grandfather often put a lil’ peppermint schnapps in, as if they weren’t already alcoholic enough!)

  4. Herb gardening notes: adding a handful of small rocks to the bottom of your pot before planting helps with drainage. And make sure not to water indoor plants too much–their roots can get too wet and rot!

    Basil, however, tends to like quite a bit of water (and sun). Also, if it starts to flower, pinch off the buds before they bloom–they can make the leaves taste bitter if left to bloom! Cilantro flowers, on the other hand, turn into tasty seeds that are good in Indian food (cilantro = coriander).

  5. “You just push these straight into the dry wall with your bare hands.”
    That’s what she said.

    “So you literally just shove it in there?”
    That’s what she said.

    “Is it supposed to be that big?”
    That’s what she said.

    “Now you’re gonna push it in there.”
    That’s what she said.

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