Welcome back to No Filter, the column that best shows off what an intellectually stimulating life I lead. I spend all week lurking your favorite celebrities and choosing their best Instagram posts for this column, but what about the famous people who don’t have Instagram? What about the Kristen Stewarts of the world, who probably take the most amazing bathroom selfies and never even bother to share them with their adoring (greedy) public? Evan Rachel Wood, when will you get an Instagram?
Anyway I thought we could stand to take a look at this slightly dated portrait of what Holland Taylor was looking at when the clock struck midnight a few weeks ago:
Happy New Year! pic.twitter.com/aQ86w3DcQK
— Holland Taylor (@HollandTaylor) January 1, 2016
Sarah Paulson, I like your style. Anyway, let’s get down to brass tacks and talk about Samira Wiley.
Mission accomplished.
Ellen and Portia acquired a dog, and he looks like he’d be best buddies with Patter Page.
This is what your girlfriend Lena Waithe looked like when she hopped into the limo to pick you up for the Critics Choice Awards.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BAqCAIUsZRa/
Ruby Rose is on a boat. There she is.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BAY63slK6RV/
I thought maybe we could talk about Brittani Nichols’ hair situation.
Or maybe we could talk about Laura Jane Grace being cute as a goddamn button.
Remember last week, when St. Vincent was incredibly broken up about the death of David Bowie and Cara Delevingne was posting the sweetest messages to cheer her up? Looks like it worked. Also, they found this baby. Is anybody missing a baby?
We close obviously with the most important thing that’s ever happened to social media, Ellen Page’s appreciation of our Presidential Candidates Who Dress Like Lesbians article. Moe Stanton would like for you to know that there is nothing gay about wearing flannel, or reading a queer women’s website, or being Ellen Page.
Join us next week, when Ellen Page posts a screenshot of THIS SENTENCE and this whole thing gets even more meta.
GAH BABY.
Also I really hope for a meta infinite spiral of Ellen Page’s screenshots of Autostraddle talking about Ellen Page’s screenshots of Autostraddle talking about Ellen Page’s screenshots of Autostraddle talking about Ellen Page’s screenshots of Autostraddle talking about Ellen Page’s screenshots etc…
These really help me imagine my Best Life. Clearly it’s in a bathroom on a boat, with Samira Wiley, holding a baby and celebrating 2016.
That wasn’t supposed to be a reply but hi Hattie!
I like to imagine that Ruby Rose is completely alone on that boat. Like, no one’s even driving it. She just turned it on and then sat back and soon the boat will go wildly out of control and crash on an island, but she’ll just flip out of it completely unharmed and all of the animals and people on the island will love her because she is Ruby Rose.
Making A Murderer Season Two: Moe Stanton
@therealmoestanton
@thequeermoestnaton
@moeinflannel
I worry about Moe. He refuses to accept reality.
At least he accepts that plaid is life. He’s halfway there.
Why are Ellen Page’s IG trolls so damn funny?
Because it’s Ellen Page!
Sharing the odd Ellen Page skeptic has become one of my favorite parts of writing this column.
YOU GUYS WHAT IF TED CRUZ WAS MOE AND HE JUST HAD TO COMMENT UNDER A PSEUDONYM BECAUSE PLAID REALLY IS LIFE
HI ELLEN PAGE, I ASSUME YOU’RE READING THIS.
Ellen Page made all Straddlers freak out and squeal and I’m one of them LOL #CelebrityCrush (I LOVE YOU ELLEN PAGE, YOU TINY CANADIAN, YOU! – FROM A TINY FILIPINO QUEERDORK!)
You guys should edit all your articles containing Queer, to something like:
“Read a F*cking Serialized Book: “Tremontaine” is a Paradise of Differentness. You know. Not gay or anything like that and Chocolate”.
I’m having some Feelings regarding Cara Delevingne in those glasses with those braids holding that baby.
I always wonder if our favourite queer celebrities read Autostraddle!!
I’m a few days late on commenting, but thought for sure someone would have already made an Inception reference re: the meta-Ellen situation.