Madly in Love: These Four Things

You have giant feelings for someone, but you want to express them in tiny ways.

I understand.

Here are four or five things you could own or give that would quietly make your point. This is not necessarily for the holidays — this is just for life. At its heart, this is just about cuddling, really.

1. Rings by June Designs on Etsy

Constellation and Knot Ring

If I had words for these, I would write them here.


2. Memory Foam Mattress Cover

this could look sexier, but trust me

Like if the physical, emotional and cerebral feelings of cuddling were smashed together and then spread across your bed.


3. Lip Venom

I am still not over Lip Venom. It actually tastes like sex, according to me. So there.


4. 52 Things I Love About You Project

via emmaline bride

I’ll always fall for a chunky little book of feelings.


I also think a down throw/comforter is essential, but I couldn’t find the perfect one for you. There are so many things for this list! What do you think? How do you personally/emotionally manifest cuddling situations? What could I give you/do to say that I love you? I mean, hypothetically.


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Laneia is the Director of Operations and founding member of Autostraddle, and you're the reason she's here.

Laneia has written 927 articles for us.


  1.,default,pd.html?start=4&cgid=comforters-down this is the best comforter. it is just the best.

    if you want something more on the luxurious side rather than the use-every-night-forever side, i.e. the blanket in which you will wrap your firstborn and your firstborn’s firstborn after their baptisms,,default,pd.html?dwvar_KM99_color=IVORY&start=7&cgid=comforters-luxury juuuuust omg. it’s actually less expensive than many comforters of equivalent size, but again, less practical, as it’s not really right for nightly use. and you probably shouldn’t fuck on it ever.

    can autostraddle have a regular dream-bedding column please

  2. Last year, for our fifth, I made her a mix cd with songs from important times in our relationship that always would mean her for me. Like the one that played at last call that first time we went drinking and I was across from her at the table, watching her singing it with her friends. Or the one that was playing when I first knew that I loved her. And I made it like a book, with a page and a story for each song. It was really gross and romantic. I’m pretty sure she cried.

  3. This is so classic as to seem obvious, but I feel like still a lot of people don’t really get it. Don’t give your girlfriend flowers on your anniversary or Valentines Day–that’s the time to do something creative and cute, like the 52-cards suggestion. Instead, pick up flowers on your way home from work some random day and bring them to her. I usually say something dumb like “these are pretty and smell good, and you are pretty and smell good, so, um, here, I’m giving them to you.”

  4. I made her a tiny lego person that looks like her. It will arrive in the mail in a few weeks. It is holding a tiny banana and has a tiny mug and comes with a tiny baseball cap that you can put on the tiny yellow head. Tiny lego girlfriend.

  5. My gf goes on post-it note rampages. She leaves before I get up most mornings and there will be a tiny post-it on the milk (‘good morning lovely’) and one on the toaster (‘nutella or peanut butter today?’) and one on the mirror in the bathroom (‘you smell especially clean today!’) and one on the front door (‘have a lovely day. you are pretty’), etc, etc.

    We also send each other post, even though we live in the same house (with stamps that we pay for and everything). Sometimes we make up characters to write to each other from. Every xmas/birthday she gets a present from me and a present from ‘Pepper White’ my alter-ego.

    ALSO because we are sick/cute we make each other cross stitches (ala ).

    AND FINALLY: build her a fort out of sheets and fairy lights. Put all your comfy mattress protectors and quilts and electric blankets and HER inside.

    • i feel like random notes on everyday items is just the very best thing. my dad always stayed up wayyy later than everyone else, and my stepmom had to leave for work super early in the morning. so while he was staying up, watching documentaries on WWII or black holes, he would write letters to my stepmom and leave them for her to read every morning. she kept them all. i liked knowing that i came from someone who would do something like that.

    • the only reason i even knew about lip venom was because i read somewhere that sarah shahi said that making out with kate moennig was super easy and sexy because she — kate — wore lip venom.

      it pains me to admit how much my life has benefited from the creation of the l word. i mean, it actually pains me.

  6. I went the electric blankie route this Christmas…and I gave it to her ealy because, well, it gets pretty damn cold this time of year! She couldn’t have been happier!

    5 days later…our puppies chewed through the cord. I couldn’t have been madder. Guess it’s not too late to get another one before gift-day. They are awesome!

  7. Any good suggestions for a first Christmas together gift/s? We’ve only been together like a month, so we’re not there with the ‘love’ business yet, but I want something that expresses cuddling and feelings..

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