Listling With Brief Commentary: 53 Fried Foods I Didn’t Eat At The Texas State Fair

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After eating fried food for four days straight during a New Orleans trip, my girlfriend and I decided to give up fried food for a year. We’ve refused the free chips and salsa at every Tex-Mex restaurant, we’ve avoided going to our favorite sports bar for fried pickles and wings and we’ve endlessly asked every waiter, “Is this fried?” Nonetheless, we’ve been going strong since April 1 without any crispy, golden deliciousness.

Dreaming of the day I can EAT YOU UP!

Dreaming of the day I can EAT YOU UP!

I went to the Texas State Fair — a haven for everything deep fried and on a stick — for the first time this past weekend. And I still did not eat fried foods. I lived vicariously through the wild, free souls gorging on things like “Fried PB&J.”

53 Fried Foods I Didn’t Eat At The Texas State Fair

1. Doritos Cool Ranch Fried Pizza

2. Fernie’s Deep Fried King Ranch Casserole

3. Deep Fried Cuban Roll

4. Fried Guacamole

5. Fried Thanksgiving Dinner

6. Fried Jambalaya

7. Awesome Deep Fried Nutella

8. Deep Fried Elote

9. Deep Fried Spaghetti and Meatball

10. Fried Grilled Cheese Sandwich

11. Deep Fried Oreos

12. Fried Spinach Dip Bites

13. Southern Style Chicken-Fried Meatloaf

14. Golden Fried Millionaire Pie

15. Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Burrito

16. Loaded Avocado Crispy Fries

17. Spicy Spam Empanadas

18. Texas Fried Fireball

19. Deep Fried Shrimp and Grits

20. Deep Fried Creole Boulette

21. Deep Fried BBQ Wontons

22. Fried Collard Greens

23. Fried Bacon Cinnamon Roll

24. Fried Bubblegum

25. Fried Beer

26. Fried Cactus

27. Fried Coke

28. Fried Cookie Dough

29. Cajun Fried Turkey Legs

30. Fried Chicken Skin

31. Fried Loaded Mashed Potatoes

32. Fried Snickers

33. Fried Cake Balls

34. Viva Las Vegas Fried Ice Cream

35. Fried Star Crunch

36. Fried Latte

37. Fried Frozen Margarita

38. Deep Fried Biscuit and Gravy

39. Fried Queso Bites

40. Fried Chicken Flapjack on a Stick

41. Deep Fried Mac N Cheese Sliders

42. Fried Banana Pudding

43. Fried Ribs

44. Fried Mozzarella Cheese Sticks

45. Fried Pina Colada

46. Fried Broccoli Cheese Bacon Bites

47. Fried Cheesecake

48. Texas Fried Frito Chili Pie

49. Fried Mexican Fire Crackers

50. Fried Butter

51. Potato Twirl

52. Ultimate Fried Hamburger

53. Funnel Cake (obvs)

Yvonne S. Marquez is a lesbian journalist and former Autostraddle senior editor living in Dallas, TX. She writes about social justice, politics, activism and other things dear to her queer Latina heart. Yvonne was born and raised in the Rio Grande Valley. Follow her on Instagram or Twitter. Read more of her work at yvonnesmarquez.com.

Yvonne has written 206 articles for us.

72 Comments

  1. I spent the last two summers in Edinburgh and I thought Scotland was the home of fried madness – loads of chip shops have deep fried haggis and deep fried Mars bars – but it pales in comparison to Texas. Fried Coke! I can’t even wrap my brain around the idea of that.

    • Exact same reason I need to never go to never go to Texas! I too would eat all of this. And I don’t even mean, I would eat one of everything, I mean ALL the food. The headline would be like “Enthusiastic Irish Girl Consumes Entire State Fair”

      • To add a bit of organisational structure to this – i think we, the contenders, would first have a drinking contest and then the winner’s honours would be to devour the entire fair.

        So go ahead, imagine yourself in the headlines more, if you jinx yourself hard enoungh you won’t make for qualification.

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