To quote the great Ferris Bueller, “life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
2019 lulled us into the feeling of warm, sweet, heart-eyed celesbian romance (Kristen Stewart got a new girlfriend; Roxane Gay got engaged; soccer stars Ashlyn Harris and Ali Krieger had the gay wedding of the century!!). But 2020 is a new year and thus we are faced with the harsh truth of our reality: Love is a Lie.
Just two short months after publicly announcing their marriage to gays everywhere on The Ellen Show, Lena Waithe and her fellow Hollywood producer wife Alana Mayo have announced they are separated.
The couple originally broke news of their engagement back in 2017 on Thanksgiving, a wink to the famous “Thanksgiving” episode of Master of None that catapulted Waithe’s career into another stratosphere. They were together for three years total.
Following the hallowed tradition of straight celebrities before them, the couple shared a joint statement from their reps: “After careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways. We have nothing but support for one another and ask that you respect our privacy during this time.”
Word spread overnight while we were sleeping soundly, with many insiders speculating that Lena’s infidelity may have been at the root of their split (we, your trusted experts, have no confirmation of that intel, but I am duty-bound by internet gossip law to report it, that’s the deal I made with the devil to keep my hair so soft).
The real question I have is who will gain custody of their dog’s Instagram account!! I’ve grown very found of Simone Mayo-Waithe! Will no one think of the kids??
And now please gather together in a circle, join hands, burn the herb of your choice, and repeat the Autostraddle motto after me: Love is a lie. It’s a lie. It’s a damn, damn lie.
Joking aside, we wish Alana and Lena peace – and for Alana, some much deserved privacy – in the next steps of their journey.