How to Overcome Being an Aries

Hello, Aries. I can see that you have, once again, burned some bridges and wrecked some structures. I know that you’re thinking “but I’m not a typical Aries” and that’s very Aries in of itself! I’ve never met an Aries who thinks they’re a typical Aries.

You’re an Aries and you just chewed out a student unprovoked because they failed to understand your last assignment’s completely niche language — and yet you’re completely taken off guard when they still remember the interaction the next time you see each other. You’re an Aries and every time you stay late at work or the train stops running, you start reciting the Communist Manifesto by heart.

Being an Aries means that you’re constantly living in your head. Being an Aries is having one finger on the trigger and being just seconds away from sending your boss a lengthy email demanding to know why they think that you need this job when the smallest of misunderstandings arises. Being an Aries means that, typically, you like to make it clear that people can’t fuck with you except that, clearly, they can and will get a rise out of you.

You’re the fighter of the zodiac and we need you to stay that way, Aries. But think of a soldier reintegrating into society. You may be reacting to things that just aren’t there.

To overcome being an Aries, first:

Master the art of apology.

Learning the beauty of a great apology gives you more agency to do the things you want to do, fearless and without doubt. It allows you to do the things you know you may screw up but want to try anyways, because they’re just that important to you.

Learn the urgency of timing.

Now, I don’t mean waiting for things just because waiting “makes it better” or something. As an Aries, you understand the importance of your own time and not having any to waste. You’re the last to stand in line for some new confectionary as seen on Yelp because you hate wanting the same things as everyone else, as well as wasting even five minutes.

What I mean is: master the art of knowing when to take action, so that your efforts actually pay off. Step out of your own headspace by realizing that 90% of the work isn’t pushing and pushing until people are forced to take what you have to offer down their throats but waiting and waiting until the perfect moment so that even if your next step comes out a whisper, everyone turns their heads and pays attention.

Learning timing means that you’re working a lot less, Aries. It means that you’re leaving behind days of constant adrenalines rushes for an actually enjoyable pace of living.

The last step to overcoming being an Aries is the most important one—

Learn that there are just some things you can’t do alone.

This is one that you may have heard before and know in your head but not in your gut. That’s another thing about being an Aries — you know so many things in your head and you risk not realizing how to embody them.

Look back on your life and remember a time you were fighting, really fighting, for your working rights or against some racism you experienced, or misogyny at home. Did you get blamed for the incident despite being ideologically certain?

Remember this incident not as a time when you were either in the right or in the wrong but as a time that you were either fighting alone or together. The thing is, Aries, you’re the ram of the zodiac and it’s oh so easy to make yourself into the scapegoat of everyday violence just because you make a big deal out of it on your own.

We need you, Aries, because you’re the fighter of the zodiac but we turn on you just the same because you’ve never learned to make us feel involved in your battles for vindication. You’re taken on too much of the labor and responsibility, enough that our battles have become your battle. This is not the path to revolution. Without others, you make yourself small and camouflage your courage as pettiness.

Use that famous Aries charm. Turn it on to pull people towards your mission, but just because you’re bored.

So, Aries, as you can see, overcoming being an Aries is about much more than changing yourself. It’s about finding the space to be yourself. You deserve the fights you need to fight more than ever but no on needs you to fight for them. They need you to fight with them, to do so at the right moments, leisurely, and not so breathtakingly hard that you’re running on no sleep and empty calories consumed on the go, and in a way where you trust that you will have things to apologize for because you are operating outside of your comfort zone.

Alice Sparkly Kat is a queer astrologer of color with four years of experience in individual consultation, lectures, workshops, and writing. They use astrology to speculate on the ways culture inhabits biology. To them, astrology is a process of imagining the cultural alien through the metaphor of outer space. Their website is and instagram is @alicesparklykat

Alice has written 5 articles for us.


  1. It took me a *really* long time to figure out that the designs in the feature image were the Aries symbol and not little IUD’s. Sitting here trying to figure out if there’s a connection between Aries and reproductive health that everyone else is already aware of…

  2. I HATE that I thought “well i’m not a typical Aries” right before clicking on this article, and being called out in my very home, right before my birthday. I’m so upset, I feel like I’ve been slapped. But at the same time, thank you for this. I’m still mad but thank you.

  3. Whilst reading this article I’ve alternated between wincing at the accuracy and staring at some of the suggestions in slight alarm and confusion, like someone staring at something they’ve stumbled across that’s written in a foreign language that they can none the less tell has something very important to say, that they feel an urgent need to understand.
    Ouch, and also, thank you. I’d always been hurt/angered/confused by why my earnest arguments often just appeared to be so petty to others, regardless of how serious the subject was, how honest I was in expressing my feelings, or how logically I structured my arguments. You’ve given me a lot to think about.

  4. As a Libra married to an Aries, I feel like a lot of Aries women aren’t “typical Aries” because they were enculturated as women to be the opposite. They turn their anger on themselves, or disguise it with layers of cheerful politeness. They may not immediately strike you as “fighter,” but they WILL aggressively organize you until they get what they want, and they ARE the birthday queen, so they demand much respect and praise during this time. 😀

    Now I’m going to go read your Pisces article, because I can’t understand any of my Pisces friends. They are literally so needy and also won’t let me fulfill their needs.

  5. Pisces sun and moon, Aries Venus here. Feeling so incredibly called out right now. I’ve been grappling with being a villain in all my relationships for as long as I can remember. I have always known in my gut that I play a part in becoming that villain… but I usually end up blaming everyone else for turning me into a scapegoat because I can’t see past my ideological certainties. Thank you and ouch for helping me see that. I want and have always wanted to be able to fight alongside the people I love but I have never learned how to let them in enough to do so. Step one for me is to sit with how it feels to be vulnerable and to watch myself react when I let go of being in charge.

  6. I love this because I’m an Aries and I love anything about myself even stuff that’s like “Aries, you’re the pain in the ass of the twelve signs” because any attention is still attention!

    Was the line “Use that famous Aries charm. Turn it on to pull people towards your mission, but just because you’re bored” supposed to say “but NOT just because you’re bored?” or is my reading comprehension failing me?

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