So, you’re a Pisces. You make poetic gestures like it’s as easy as breathing. None of your sentences make sense. You open your mouth and the thought you thought you had comes out as “And that’s why your cat will always have one over on you” to the puzzlement of those within listening capacity.
You’re a Pisces and you’re the Boomhauer of the zodiac.
You’re a Pisces that’s still hung up on your ex who wasn’t really your ex. It was this chick who looked a lot like what you pictured when you read a young adult novel about a really cool girl that you forgot the name of. You and this girl exchanged words once, during which she touched your hand and eyes said something only you and her understood. You found her pencil once, or at least you think it was hers, and touch it when you’re in your dark bedroom ruminating.
Overcoming being a Pisces is hard work, but practical for the modern age. How can you ever manage to balance a checkbook when you get distracted because you’ve always thought that 3s and 5s look very similar and you estimate a $50 expense as $13?
The first thing you have to do when overcoming being a Pisces is to stop fixating on other people’s problems. Do you feel an inexplicable urge to text someone you only know in passing that you, mind reader you, know all of their follies and deepest desires? This desire to read other people will be the demise of you, not only because it’s a time waster, but because it lets everyone else know what’s going on in your head all the time. Your perspective gives away your location. Give away your own coordinates wisely and efficiently, not thoughtlessly.
The first thing you have to do is start getting your 3s and 5s straight. The second thing you have to do is throw away that pencil, because it never belonged to that girl in the first place and was actually the property of that gross and mean guy who bullied you. Get out of your head.
There’s a such thing as not eating enough nutrition and having an inflamed brain. There’s a reason that two hours of sleep, or twelve hours of sleep, makes you feel weird. There’s a reason that not seeing any sunlight or stretching your muscles makes you super lethargic, depressed, and anxious. Not everything is in your head – the rest of it is in your body.
Take good care of yourself
Eat your vitamins by eating colorful foods. Spend some time in the sun each and every day. Go to bed at a reasonable hour and don’t oversleep. Get your routine down pat, because routine is the vessel that keeps your Piscean waters safe.
When you’re a Pisces, you think that everyone is talking about you the moment you leave the room. It’s easy to read criticism into every encounter. To combat this, simply imagine all the good things that they may be saying about you. If you’re going to be paranoid, at least let the voices in your head be your inner cheerleaders.
Practice some positive self delusion
Every time you leave the room, imagine that everyone is talking about that really cool joke you made and your fantastic style choices. Imagine that they’re talking about how to support you on your next journey or appreciating the time that you went out of your way to do something for someone else.
The best thing to do as a Pisces is to get out of the house. Most of the time, as a Pisces, you don’t know where you are. This can lead to a strange feeling of bewilderment when you realize, suddenly, that you are miles away from your home after driving towards it for so long because you went in the wrong direction, or that you are actually in your bedroom when you were totally jumping on your bed and imagining yourself in a nightclub.
As a Pisces, you are exactly where you imagine yourself to be. I’m wondering, why change that at all? I’m also wondering, why do so many Pisces choose to imagine themselves to be in the depth of hell when it’s so easy for them live every day in heaven? Why imagine the worst when you can make the best come true simply through a feat of imagination?
Being a Pisces means taking a long and winding detour through the stuff of life. Why would you want to lose that? Step one of overcoming being a Pisces is to embrace being a Pisces. Enjoy yourself, Pisces. Enjoy that overactive imagination that you spent years building but make sure that you make your stories as wondrous as you deserve them to be.