This is a Canada Day Post

CAROLYN’S TEAM PICK:

Greetings, (slight majority of) Americans and everyone else, including Canadians! Today is Canada Day, also known as the day on which many Canadians express their patriotism by spending large amounts of time out of doors and getting sunburnt so they can turn as red and splotchy as our flag [ed note: this may just be me]. Canada Day is basically exactly the same thing as America Day, or whatever you guys call July 4, but with the following crucial exceptions:

It is slightly less of a big deal, and

Fewer people are allowed to light fireworks. Not that this stops anyone.

stock imagery of canada, america's hat

Also in Quebec, July 1 is not only Canada Day but Moving Day, which means that going to a parade is even more fun, because you get to watch all the people with U-Hauls struggling to find the detour routes (hi, people currently parked and looking at maps all over my street!). In any case, Canada is 144 years old today. Here are some other fun facts about this:

+ Technically Canada Day is the anniversary of the union of a bunch of random provinces into Canada under the British North America Act. Not all the provinces, mind you. Lots were added later! But there isn’t a day to drink in celebration of Newfoundland, because every day is a day to drink in celebration of Newfoundland.). In practice, Canada Day is a huge yet, in keeping with our national character, semi-restrained party with fireworks and children with their faces painted on the covers of national newspapers and also: barbecue.

+ Will and Kate are in Ottawa today. Inexplicably, people care. Related: an estimated 300,000 people are on Parliament Hill right now.

+ There are lots of “Canada Day in Kandahar” human interest stories, since Canada is expected to end the mission soon.

+ Canada Day is basically the only day to inspire Canadians with feelings of patriotism, unless we win at the Olympics, in the NHL, or have a recession less harsh than that of other countries, or something.

There are, of course, a great deal of Canada-related events today, including fireworks, free concerts, and acrobatic waterskiing down the St. Lawrence. Which I am headed to right now.

Happy Canada Day!

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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.

30 Comments

  1. HAPPY CANADA DAY! :D

    i have been celebrating by sitting in my basement watching cpac.

      • it was amazingly informative. i watched 3 half-hour shows on prime ministers bowell (who was by all accounts an raging asshole), tupper (who had the best mutton chops ever), and Laurier (who was both french & well-liked, two conflicting characteristics).

        then I crushed on kate middleton for about an hour and a half as she got her ear talked off by jason fuckin’ kenney at the civilization museum in gatineau whilst 25 brand shiny new canadians got sworn in.

        somehow recounting all of this to you makes it seem like a considerably less woeful way to spend canada day.

  2. found this somewhere else, felt like it should be seen by the ASSociates

    “mojwnun says:
    Today, 12:38:24 PM
    “We Love Canada…and here’s why: A lesbian love song.

    O Canada
    We married in your land
    ‘Cause back at home
    The wingnuts do command
    With glowing hearts we said our vows
    In the True North strong and free
    We don’t speak French or else we’d move
    For our security
    God bless you guys
    You are the best
    O Canada
    You’re nicer than the rest
    O Canada
    You’re nicer than the rest.”

  3. I feel like NHL free agent day is Canada’s insane way of celebrating, but I love them for it.

  4. I spent too much time out of doors today and shall soon be red and splotchy as the flag, cared inexplicably about what was happening at Parliament Hill and will probably see fireworks later. WOOO!

    Oh Canada, I totally drink this beer to thee.

  5. This tickled me on Canada Day:

    Snippet from an interview with Rachel Evan Wood today.
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8574415/Evan-Rachel-Wood-interview-Ive-always-been-attracted-to-both-sexes.html

    Her thoughts on being a parent in the future:

    “And I definitely want kids one of these days. I don’t know who with – whoever would make the best parent.’
    She giggles. ‘I kind of hope it’s a girl, actually. We’ll have to see. But families are difficult and having two moms would just be amazing – it would all be so much easier.’”

  6. i’m five minutes away from the Hill and there is far too much humanity in one place [insert republican screed here].

    but for real, i am firmly Team Canada in pretty much all things, and i guess i’m patriotic, or whatever.

    ps i am a canadian who has never seen a hockey game #womenssoccer4eva

  7. WOOOO Canada Day! I celebrated today by being massively hungover from late night tomfoolery of Canada Day Eve. I would not be able to handle any type of crowd today. It’s aaaalmost a shame, but last night was worth it.

  8. Acrobatic waterskiing down the St. Lawrence?!

    Amazing!!

    Pretty much this whole post made me laugh nonstop due to the high truth content.

    I spent Canada day being as West Coasty as I could by attending Kundalini yoga in Kits, playing tennis with my gf in East Van, and am going to sit outside the Canadians (AAA Baseball team) game tonight and watch the fireworks. Perfect chill Canada day, devoid of crowds. Oh, and of course I will drink beer.

    • It was a perfect day to be in East Van! I spent it at Queen Elizabeth park, and it was awesome.

  9. SOMEONE EXPLAIN MOVING DAY TO ME.

    like srsly, is that a thing? everyone just packs up and moves? away from stuff or in together? is that where all of the lesbians are? I’m so confused.

    • We have the same thing in Boston, it’s called Sept. 1st when ALL OF THE STUDENTS move in. Especially in Allston.

      I don’t know anything about Canada’s Moving Day, except that it logically would follow Boxing Day.

    • I saw a Wikipedia article on it a day or two ago, apparently in Quebec most leases end on the same day so everyone moves at the same time

    • Everyone in Quebec moves on the same day. Everyone who rents anyways, which is just about everyone. I think it’s about 200,000 households or something.

      I think it’s partially just an “eff you Canada” thing. Like, not only will we not celebrate Canada, but we’re going to do some mildly annoying task all day that day!

    • Think about it this way – it’s a stat holiday, and one that isn’t as well-celebrated, since St-Jean is like a week prior. This means that it’s a perfect day to move, because a) it’s the first day of the month, so your lease is up anyways, and b) you just partied the fuck out for St-Jean, so you don’t really *need* Confédération (Canada Day) like the rest of the country does.

  10. It’s also Memorial Day here in Newfoundland, which makes me feel vaguely guilty about how much I’ve had to drink today. Anyway, happy Canada Day, Canadians!

  11. I didn’t have anything with a maple leaf so I wore my Canadien’s shirt to work in honor of Canada day.

  12. I celebrated Canada by playing drag baseball! Aaah… I love this country.

  13. Around here, everybody celebrates it by getting the hell out of the city and bolting to the lake/Canadian Shield. Whcih is the most Canadian thing to do, in my opinion.

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