Hannah Hart and the Dance Showdown


Hello! Dance Showdown is a dance competition that pits YouTube stars against one another because the next logical step after “spends a lot of time on the internet” is “becomes competitive dancer.” This contest is extremely relevant to your interests because your imaginary girlfriend Hannah Hart is taking part and needs your votes and emotional support! Here is her bio video in case you don’t have her entire personal history memorized, and here is her rehearsal video. Keep in mind while you’re watching them that a vote for Harto is a vote for Harto in Spandex.

The following video of Hannah’s dance is presented to you without comment, except to say that I find her extremely endearing.

You can vote for Hannah once a day until April 25. The top four vote-getters will advance to the next round. Think of this as a way to publicly declare your love and admiration, which is not an opportunity I am willing to pass up.

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Intern Grace

Grace Ellis has been writing and making hack-job graphics for Autostraddle since 2011 and is a co-creator and co-writer of the comic book series Lumberjanes. She is mostly an intern in name only. (Mostly.) She lives in Columbus, Ohio because why anything. Also, she wants to write the Black Widow movie and feels like if she just keeps telling people, eventually she will be allowed to do it. She has a Twitter and a Tumblr, both of which are pretty above average.

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14 Comments

  3. Several things: Harto is adorbs as ush, she is a totally rockin’ dancer, and I plan to vote for her. However, WTF on the choreography?! Did the choreographer even watch ONE of Harto’s MDK episodes or anything else she has ever made? The dance was totally not on. I mean, stilettos and a song about dressing up for a guy?? (btw – I totally get that queer ladies wear heels and all, just not Hannah the last time I checked). That was a missed opportunity for some rad Hannah themed awesomeness.

    Guys, here are some of the lyrics from the song. I have a LOT of feelings about this. (Oh, and also, I am queer/bisexual and like/am attracted to cis/trans/het/genderqueer bois/boys/men, so it is also not coming from an anti-man-loving place, my feelings)

    He’s got a thing for these Stilettos
    He’s climbin’ up the walls
    I got him hooked on my Stilettos
    He likes to watch me walk
    Five or six inches, fresh off the runway
    They could make a grown man beg
    I know just what he wants
    Me any my Stilettos!

    • I feel you. As much as I respect Lauren Froderman, she definitely could have themed this better. Nevertheless, harto dancing (a little clumsily but therein lies the charm) in spandex will never fail to thrill all her hartosexist fans :D

      The Worm was the best part of this. That, and the possible innuendo of two girls shunning stilettos – they did kick them away, right? – and retreating into a closet(?).

    • Agreed…the choreography and song choice were totally weak. If you watch some of the other performances, it looks like the choreographers cleverly incorporated props/themes/etc into the dance relating to the youtuber’s online persona. Hannah’s dance had NOTHING to do with her channel.

      Additionally, the choreography just wasn’t that good…kind of all over the place. I appreciate that these professional dancers are working with people who have very little training, but I think it could have been a lot better. Pretty much the only saving graces were the spandex, Hannah’s adorableness and the worm (which wouldn’t have even been put in the performance if Hannah hadn’t brought it up in the rehearsal).

      I hope enough hartosexuals vote for her so she can move on to the next round, and that she gets placed with a different choreographer.

  4. I’m sorry, I’ve got this uh, heart palpitating going on, I’ll just, I’ll be back in a bit, I can’t right now

  8. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO. I LOVE HARTO.

    also have feelings re: the worm. ever since i was a wee lass i was under the impression that boobs get in the way (aka hurt). dont tell me i can be more embarassing and ridiculous when given a large open floor area.

  9. I have so many feelings about Hannah Hart. Don’t worry. My girlfriend already knows and has the exact same feelings.

  10. Agree with the points about the choice of song etc.
    This could have been even more amazing, but good on Hannah for just going for it anyway and making the best of it.

    Remember you can vote every day to get her to the next round!

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