When I was a young dessert-eating grasshopper, my mother made a delicious cake that went by the name of Blueberry Boy Bait. Now, I love alliteration as much as the next person, but even in those long ago days, my youthful feminist ideals objected to the title of this confection. Why couldn’t girls be seduced with this tasty treat? Why was the implication that an apron-clad female baker had to lure an eligible male into her grasp with foodstuffs?
In spite of my intellectual objections, I cannot deny that this cake is, frankly, awesome. Like moist-buttery-cake-covered-with-tangy-berries-and-sugary-crust awesome. And in my older, more enlightened state, I am happy to report that the awesomeness of this cake has allowed me to effectively bait people of all gender identities — in spite of its original title.
Nevertheless, a few weeks ago I decided to try to improve on the awesome by making this cake a little more queer. In so doing, I took into account the following three facts:
ONE: Raspberries are delicious (and, in their frozen form, mysteriously cheaper than the blueberries at my local grocery store).
TWO: Everything is improved by coconut.
and
THREE: Lesbians like whole grains (except my girlfriend, who thought she only liked white bread until I made this cake).
Voila! Blueberry Boy Bait became Whole Wheat Raspberry Coconut Girl Bait. Namewise, it’s a little less catchy than the original, but it’s also whole grain! Which means you can totally eat it for breakfast.
Whole Wheat Raspberry Coconut Girl Bait
adapted from the delightful Smitten Kitchen
Ingredients:
Cake
1 cup of whole wheat flour plus 1 cup white flour plus 1 more teaspoon of either flour
1 tablespoon of baking powder
1 teaspoon of table salt
2 sticks of butter, softened
1/4 cup of brown sugar
1/4 cup of sugar
3 large eggs
1/2 cup of sweetened, shredded coconut
1 cup of milk
1/2 cup of raspberries (fresh or frozen, but let’s be real, this is April)
Topping
1/2 cup of raspberries
1/4 cup of sugar
1/4 cup of sweetened, shredded coconut
Instructions:
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9×13 pan.
2. Mix two cups of flour, baking powder and salt together in medium bowl.
3. With your handy dandy electric mixer, beat the butter and both sugars on medium high speed until fluffy, about two minutes. (If you’re like me until approximately six months ago and don’t have an electric mixer, roll up your sleeves and squish everything around with your fingers until combined, then fluff with a fork. Sigh expressively, but comfort yourself with the knowledge you are getting good hand exercise. You know. For all the…typing you have to do.)
4. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating until just incorporated. Mix in the coconut.
5. Then, beat in the flour mixture in three stages, alternating with the milk until you’ve created a nice thick batter.
6. Toss your raspberries with that awkward teaspoon of flour that you were just beginning to wonder about and gently mix them into the batter. If you’re using frozen raspberries, don’t defrost them first because they will become an oozing, bloody mess and you will end up like Lady Macbeth, washing your hands repeatedly and dying a tragic offstage death. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
7. Spread the batter into your prepared pan and move on to the topping. Mix together the sugar, coconut, and raspberries and sprinkle the whole shebang over the top of the cake. Although the perfectionist inside you may recoil, don’t go crazy trying to make the world’s most even layer here. One of the beauties of this cake is the sugary pockets that result from uneven topping distribution.
8. Bake for 45 to 50 minutes, stabbing it through the heart vampire-style with a toothpick periodically until your mini toothpick stake comes out free of crumbs.
9. Cool in the pan for as long as you can bear to wait, then free your delicious raspberry coconut cake creation and cut it into squares.
10. Get out there and bait some girls. While I cannot guarantee success, I can promise that, if things don’t work out, you’ll have something delicious to snack on.
About the author: Maggie is a queer twenty-something who considers herself a connoisseur of quick breads, wedding blogs, and epistolary novels. Her life ambition is to save the U.S. Postal Service.
I definitely just imagined a large box propped up by a stick with a string tied to it with these treats underneath and a trail of Tegan & Sarah CD’s leading up to it.
this recipe contains every single thing i love
time to go to freddy’s!!
This looks delicious, and also, I love reading your descriptions. Stab it through the heart vampire-style with a toothpick indeed.
<3
This will be veganised and used as suggested… or I may just make it and fall in love with myself. Delicious!
Huzzah! Let me know how the vegan-izing goes! This is an area of my baking I definitely need to develop.
@Maggie – I’m thinking that I’d sub the two sticks of butter for vegan margarine and coconut oil in a 3:1 ratio, make sure the sugar is vegan (obviously!), switch the eggs for 4 tablespoons flaxmeal and 1 of chia seeds mixed with 10 tbsps lukewarm water, and use soy milk instead of dairy. This is going to be good!
…but it’ll work fine with only one type of flour, right?
Absolutely! The original recipe was for all white flour (http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2009/07/blueberry-boy-bait/), and I have made it with all whole wheat; I just think the half and half provides the optimal balance of tenderness and nutty whole grain goodness.
Did you add extra liquids to account for the wholewheat flour? Curious if it’s drier than the original white flour or if you compensated!
I did not add any extra liquid– and although I noticed the all-wheat version was a little drier, with the half white and half wheat flours, the cake was as moist as I remember the original being!
Yes, MOIST. I think it’s important to celebrate positive connotations of “moist” whenever possible.
Maggie – the hostess with the moistess. I’m about to embark on this culinary adventure and will let you know how it goes.
Hostess with the moistess?!!! I am going to make business cards! Hope your baking was a grand success!
The baking would have been more of a success if the coconut I thought was in my kitchen was actually there. As I am wont to do when baking, I just made things up and now have a delicious peanut butter and raspberry cake – which I can confirm works just as well as girl bait as my girlfriend invited herself over with the question: “Do I smell raspberries?” Yes, yes you do. Thanks Maggie!
Also, please send me one of those business cards!
Brilliant, thanks!
You could contribute to Postal Service success by mailing me a square.
I am proud to say I am the girl who was baited by this treat, and can therefore confirm that it is both delicious and guaranteed to be successful!
Also, for the record, I now eat whole wheat bread ALL THE TIME.
I have been contemplating doing a baking night for a few weeks now. I think I will try this recipe out except make it gluten free/paleo(ish). Thursday night just got a whole lot more yummy.
I may not be a master baker, but with this recipe I hope to become a master baiter.
::slinks away::
You can’t tell us you don’t already know how to do that.
You caught me…red handed.
I can not wait to try and make this, raspberry and coconut – yum!
I wonder if I can use margarine(or one of the healthier vegetable oils) instead? I think this could also be good California’d up a bit if you know what I mean. Thank you for this.
I am a big butter fan, so I can’t comment on the effect of doing substitutions, but I am impressed with your more virtuous tendencies!
I am not sure about where you are from, but since I live in California I can easily get fresh berries. I take that would taste better than the frozen stuff?
I am sure! Here on the east coast, my grocery is still charging fifty cents per berry. SIGH.
You are every bit as awesome as your cousin told me you were. Plus, I love you forever for using the word “foodstuffs” in your post.
I’m going to try to make these Paleo-style. And if that doesn’t work out, I’ll make them the regular way and just not share with my grain-allergic family members. ;) Either way… these are happening in my kitchen.
Nice to “meet” you!
H
I made the blueberry version for my lab today (gluten free with Better Batter flour). It was delicious.
In my head, it’s just blueberry boi bait, so it works.
I know it as just blueberry buckle – and in the summer here in southern Oregon, it’s fresh-picked BLACKBERRY buckle which is perhaps the most delish thing ever!