My introduction to musician slash reality television superstarĀ Somer BinghamĀ was in July 2011, when I received an email suggesting that I would really dig the bandĀ Clinical Trials. Somer and her music ā which was described as “thrashy all-female electro grunge rock with a side of angst” āĀ quickly became my new favorite things.
Almost one year later, the announcement was made that Somer had joined the cast ofĀ Autostraddle’s favorite lesbian realityĀ television program,Ā The Real L Word.Ā Obviously I jumped at the opportunity to call her up and ask, “oh God, WHY?”
Here’s the thing: Somer gets it. Like, she’s in on the joke too, and anybody who follows her on twitter knows that from her self-deprecating episode live-tweeting and overall sense of humor about the whole project.
After dealing with a phone speaker blow-out (which, fyi, an empathetic Somer offered to help fix) and being read the world’s most polite riot act by Showtime PR, we settled in for a deep and meaningful discussion about music and TRLW that ended up getting totally de-railed.
What were you thinking when you signed on to do The Real L Word?
To be honest with you, I wasnāt all that interested on being on the show. In fact I had a couple of conversations with Vero (Hunter Valentine) when trying to decide what to do, I wasnāt really sure if I wanted to be on reality television or if I wanted to let people into my life. Iām a musician, not a TV person, and so I had a lot of hesitation.
Also I was in this in-between period with Hunter Valentine, we were still trying to figure things out and it wasnāt really my decision whether the band was going to be in it or not, so I just went along for the ride. Honestly, itās a lot harder to say no to something than it is to say yes. If you say yes then maybe youāll wonder if you made the right choice and have to live with regret, but if you say no then youāll always have to wonder.
So when did the decision happen?
It happened right in the first few months of us trying to work together. Kiyomi and I were already friends and she asked me to help her write songs for their new album, which sounded like fun. That led to an invitation to go to Toronto to record it, and it was right around that time the auditions were happening. Clearly Hunter Valentine did end up being cast and the story was going to be about recording the album and going on tour.
What has it been like watching your life play out on screen? Is that weird for you?
You know whatās the weirdest thing? Reading Autostraddle recaps. I read them and Iām like, āOh wait, thatās me! Theyāre talking about my keyboard!ā
Iām actually more nervous to be talking to Autostraddle because you guys are smart. I caffeinated myself in preparation because I donāt want to be too slow or ridiculous. I mean, a little bit of ridiculous is fine, if itās funny. If we can pull off something that is a little ridiculous and a little funny and a little witty then Iāll be super stoked.
Way to put on the pressure. Had you seen The Real L Word? Did you know what you were getting yourself into?
I had no idea! I watched part of an episode once because one of my friends was obsessed – it was the scene with the creamed corn and the strap on scene and I was like, āWow! This is not good television!ā
Iām not a big reality television fan. I mean, I watch Survivor with my mom but thatās about it. So when we were auditioning I thought Iād better see what the show was like. That was a really interesting experience, watching the show and wondering if that would be me one day — would I be wearing pants or pumps?
So did you have āno creamed corn” as a stipulation in your contract?
Thatās a great question. Iām not allowed to discuss what was and wasnāt in my contract, unfortunately creamed corn falls under non-disclosure.
How did your wife, Donna, react when you told her you were auditioning? Did she think you were a little crazy?
She always thinks Iām a little crazy. She basically said, “Youāre a musician, and this show could be a way to get people to hear about your music — they may hate it, they may hate you, they may like it — at least youāre getting it out there”.
As far as being on the show, we talked about it in the context of what we would have done if this happened ten years ago — then there would have been no hesitation, weād have been in our early twenties and we were even more crazy back then, going to lesbian parties and running around New York and just generally getting into trouble. But now weāre in a different stage in our lives, which is where that hesitation originally came from.
You already have a really great band, Clinical Trials, and so Iām curious about what drove you to join another one?
It started with a conversation — a telephone conversation — between Kiyomi and I. She said that she respected me as a musician and wanted me to infuse a bit of my sound into what they were doing. I knew that they were a lot further along than my own band was — they had more fans, they had this poppy sound that appealed to a lot of people. So we discussed and agreed how it would be mutually beneficial for both parties. I wasnāt really looking for something new, the opportunity just came up. Then all the reality craziness happened.
So far this show is portrays Kiyomi as someone who has a very strong personality, who is a little bit cocky. Is this the Kiyomi that you know?
It is and it isnāt. She does have a very strong personality and weāve clashed a few times. As my wife has pointed out, weāre both brats. So yes, thereās a part of her that can be abrasive. Sheās very focused on her music goals and whatever gets in the way of achieving success can get pushed aside.
But thereās this other side to her. Sheās charismatic and sheās fun and she can be incredibly generous and caring and loyal, and these subtleties arenāt really coming across on the show because thereās so much conflict! Also, telling a story about the beauty of friendship probably isnāt all that interesting. Are viewers going to tune in for hugs, or are they going to tune in because two people are screaming at each other on stage?
When you witness all of the girl drama that Kiyomi has with her non-girlfriend, Ali, does it make you feel a sense of relief that youāve got Donna back home?
Absolutely! I think most people want to find their soul mate and Iāve been very lucky to have found mine. Those two fight a lot and it can be tough to watch. People just want to find their partner and theyāre trying to figure out whether theyāre going to work as a couple.
How did you and Donna meet?
I was handing out flyers for a show, it was this drag king show with a musical act in middle. I saw this cute girl sitting on a curb and I thought, āIām gonna give this girl a flyer!” and I did. She was so cute and so drunk — she was in grad school, she had just finished writing a paper and was out celebrating.
I was so upset because she disappeared before I could get her number. Then she showed up ten minutes later eating a falafel and I knew then that she was the one for me — the drunk girl eating a felafel in the middle of a bar. She was so sweet. We ended up hanging out another night when we were both more sober and we clicked, we both realized that we had good hearts and that was it.
SO what was the proposal like? Was it as orchestrated as Whitneyās?
No. I wanted to wait until our anniversary to propose, but then I started having these terrible nightmares about Donna not liking the ring and not liking the proposal and so I kept waking up in the middle of the night all sweaty and upset. Naturally she wanted to know what was going on. When I finally admitted that the nightmares were about getting her a piece ofĀ jeweleryĀ that she didnāt like, she put two and two together and ruined the surprise!
So I wanted to get down on my knee and tell her that I loved her and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but I didnāt get the chance to do the romantic, suave proposal thing. No chance to do any of that Romeo crap.
Pages: 1 2See entire article on one page
I wouldn’t mind seeing Somer at camp.
I was like, āWow! This is not good television!ā
This is basically the TL;DR for every TRLW episode. (Along with the “This is crazy!” screenshot, of course)
Somer seems pretty cool.
Yep. And yet, I keep on watching every week.
Me too.
“Then she showed up ten minutes later eating a falafel and I knew then that she was the one for me — the drunk girl eating a falafel in the middle of a bar.”
This is beautiful.
This was my favorite part! I had to share it with my girlfriend who is likewise the cutest drunk girl I’ve ever seen eat a falafel.
TRLW did a really thorough job of editing out all evidence that Somer is cool and smart and funny. Thanks for rectifying this AS!
Great interview. I agree with everyone else, it’s really nice to see that there’s more to her than what the show gives us.
real life somer is someone i’d love to hang out with!
So. I don’t even watch TRLW, but this interview was amazing. And yeah, the falafel story was the cutest.
wait? somer did heroin? ON THE SHOW. thats intense and can someone explain
I thought she was kidding?
she was totally kidding. i mean, i think. what i learned about somer on this day is that she has amazing deadpan delivery. usually i include things like “[laughs]” and “[jokes]” to relay the tone of the conversation, but with this i thought it would be funnier if i didn’t.
Way funnier trying to guess whether or not Somer was being serious.
that was one of my favorite parts
Somer is so cool! Definitely going to check out her other music now. Great interview!
lol somer’s eve
i think we all need a little more somer in our lives, guest writer on autostraddle???
SANTIGOLD HAS RELEASED A NEW ALBUM? Why didn’t I know that, I spent the last two years coming back to her first one over and over again! Off to check it out right now.
Oh yeah, good interview too, I don’t watch the show but this girl sounds really funny and smart :)
I’m excited for you. Her sophomore album is near perfect.
She’s one of the most likable characters on the show, yay for this interview!
Such a good interview.
I really like her. She seems very self-aware which is refreshing to see in TRLW’s world of delusional babies.
“delusional babies”
I knew I liked Somer for a reason.
Oh my gosh, I love her. I’m almost tempted to watch this show now. Almost, but not quite.
Great interview, gotta watch out for those cylons with their glow in the dark spines.
Great interview, Now I wanna have a beer with Somer!
Too bad the Donna-Somer portmanteau wasn’t mentioned when discussing her marriage
Great interview, Crystal! Thanks for sharing your inside scoop on why Somer isn’t a vapid shell like most of the ladies on TRLW. She seems to have a grasp on actual reality as well as a sense of humor. Im glad she loves the recaps!
I ENTHUSIASTICALLY CONSENT TO THE BEER
Omigod, this woman is hilarious! I actually burst out laughing when she said that she and her wife are actually total assholes and kick puppies. “We used to have 7 dogs, but now we only have two left.”
Four for you, Somer.
i don’t watch the show, i believe everyone when they say it’s horrible, i hear about the havoc it reeks on riese’s soul…
and yet this girl makes me want to watch.
conclusion? hilarious chill girl + badass interview = crazy incredible persuasive powers.
i shamelessly watch trlw just for Somer (and Donna).
great interview Crystal! i thoroughly enjoyed the article
So this was like, one of the greatest things ever.
this was hilarious! loved it :)
Hah, Somer has the best sense of humor! Love it.
Somer has always been this awesome and this hilariously dry-witted. Such a beautiful serious face for such a smartly cheeky chick. Somer…you RULE.