Welcome to This Changed My Life, an ode to the small, seemingly chill purchases bought by Autostraddle writers and editors this year that made our lives infinitely better. Did these items LITERALLY CHANGE OUR LIFE? No, we’re being gay and dramatic. But perhaps a pair of sunglasses really did change your life — who are we to judge?
From left: The Defy Bra in Sand, Manzanita (retired), Black Onyx, Twilight Blue (retired), and Dusk
As a teenager, I did NOT want to think about my boobs. Alone in Gottschalks at 16, after staring, horrified, at everything in Victoria’s Secret, I found one of those stiff-boned strapless bras, attached the optional straps, tightened them as far as they could go, and vowed to never, ever leave the house without it. I even went “skinny dipping” in that thing once, and only wiggled out of it for a couple hours once all my friends had gone to sleep, setting it to dry in the window of the treehouse we’d settled our sleeping bags into. I remember watching the sky turn gray with dawn beyond it, waiting until the last possible moment to put it back on before anyone woke up and saw me without a bra, my biggest fear. I was already wearing a D cup, and my chest would only get bigger from there.
Decades later, I was wearing a UK HH cup, and I’d gone through just about every underwire bra that the US and UK had to offer. My work bras were underwire. My sports bras were underwire. Even my swimsuits were underwire, and I was a mess. The space between my shoulder blades always throbbed. The wires dug into the skin of my torso, leaving angry red marks every day. The straps slipped off of my narrow shoulders every 2-3 steps, but racerback versions sent my muscles into flare-ups. I was over it.
So I started looking for wireless bras. And believe me when I tell you, I tried them all. The bralettes from Soma were whisper-soft, but stretched out in the course of an hour. The wireless bras at Lane Bryant were stiff and somehow still too small. The busty bralettes from Cosabella were supportive, but way too lacy for my very-soft butch sensibilities. And then I found it. The One.
From left: The Defy Bra in Clay and Black Onyx ($78)
A few years and one work-from-home pandemic later, this bra has truly proved itself. It’s thick-strapped, but not grandmotherly; wireless and clasp-free, but not flimsy. It doesn’t create quite the same silhouette that my underwires did, but I can pull it on in the morning, run around with my dog Milo, work at the computer, go for a hike or take a nap…and nothing hurts. It’s seamless under t-shirts, it stays compressive over the course of the day, and I can use it as an impromptu swim top or keep it on overnight when I’m camping. It’s absolute magic.
It’s called the Defy Bra, from Evelyn & Bobbie. It comes in three shades of nude, in black, and in seasonal colors that often go on sale right before they debut new ones. It features a scoop-neck front and a full-coverage back, with straps that never slip off my shoulders — a true first for me. It feels like a hug, like a binder might, if I’d ever found a binder that worked for me (and yes, I’ve tried GC2B). It fits me like a fancy, low-to-medium impact sports bra, although it’s woven so that there’s a bit less uniboob. It comes in sizes S-3XL, which their size chart says covers cups C-K, and band sizes 30-52; I wear a UK 42HH and am most comfortable in the 2XL. At $78, it’s not cheap, but wearing that bra is the closest I’ve ever gotten to feeling comfortable with my chest, moving my body without being reminded of my chest at every moment, and that, for me, is worth it.
The Defy Bra changed my life. Maybe it will change yours, too?
Darcy this is RAD news – LOVE to hear of another option for chests that isn’t wired. I used to be a big UK bras fan but over the last couple of years I have pivoted more and more to nonwired options and now I can barely wear a wire for 6 hours on special occasions.
Ooo I might have to try this out! I’m pretty much your boob twin (42H-ish UK), and these days I mostly make do with TomboyX soft bras, but I could do with something that’s better at preventing bounce.
Oops, this was supposed to be a stand alone comment. Oh well!
Oh I’m glad the Tomboyx bras have worked for you! I found their fabric to be not structured enough for versatile use, although they seem comfy for in the house! Although I only tried one.
Yesss same!
I have been wearing the same sports bra, that is currently called Moving Comfort, through three different brand name changes. Although I my bra style has been the best I have found, I am always on the look out for what you are describing. TY++++ for sharing your research results, and I look forward to giving it a try and I am hoping for the best.
Loyal moving comfort devotee here too.
Ooh the Moving Comfort ones are cute!
while this is not nearly as comfortable as the style Darcy describes here, if you’re on an extreme budget, these are the soft bras I live in on a daily basis (link below). they do have the uniboob issue, but there’s something very pleasantly androgynous about how they look, so I really like them. fair warning, the white ones are weirdly smaller than all the rest? I’d go one size up if you’re buying a pack of those.
https://www.amazon.com/Fruit-Loom-Womens-Sports-Heather/dp/B0912VTZ8Z/ref=mp_s_a_1_9_sspa?crid=180H03ZFTODGW&keywords=hanes+soft+bra&qid=1668648440&sprefix=hanes+soft+br%2Caps%2C100&sr=8-9-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfbXRm&psc=1
(I should say, I meant not as comfortable in terms of that seamless fabric, but they’re still v comfortable for daily wear)
Ooh yeah those look comfy!
Ooooh! I have never found a wireless bra i like. I’m a DDD (when I’m not on my period. A little bigger when I am) and I find what’s most comfortable for me are wired but unpadded bras. I like the wire bc it separates my boob from my rib cage. But I’m curious about these bc i have been wanting a wireless option for around the house when i want something between wire bra and no bra. Thank you, Darcy!!
totally, i have a couple in one size larger than the ones i like to go out in, just for lounging around the house
I will immediately check this out. I’ve been on a Quest for the holy brassiere for a while now…
Keep on Brave Little Toastering, Deli!
I did persevere !
Sadly E&B don’t do international shipping at the moment but they pointed me to some stores in Canada, so…
I’m soon to be E&B’lessed !
If you’re looking for another Canadian option Knix makes really good wire-free bras too! Their Wingwoman bra is especially good at containing side-boob (the bane of my big-boobed existence, tbh)
This brand is incredible – I have the version of their bra with hook and eye closures, and 2 pairs of underwear. I have no idea what magic they employ to get the fabric to hug all sizes so nicely, but it works!
Ooh yeah I have some of those too! They’re not quite as comfy on my back but they’re great for when I need something more in the shape of a traditional bra.
I am always here for Big Titty Butch content. bookmarking this!!
🍈🍈
OK but they want $78 for the bra and then they’re not going to ship it to me for free? So the total is $86.93? for one bra? Is this worth it? Will this really change my life? Will it do the uniboob thing? Siiiiigh at least they have free returns, you know I’m probably going to go for it…
I feel your pain, Karey!
I have one of these. They do create a uniboob, in my experience.
Ordered a couple before I finished the article. Hoping they work for me and my partner 🤞
FINGERS CROSSED
Wow. I feel like this thing is going to do wonders for my posture in addition to being comfy, supportive, and not a whole uniboob! I’ve bought so many bras that didn’t work. This one is incredible (although I’ve only tried it on and washed it so far—tomorrow’s the big test)
Thank you!!!
Omg Darcy tysm!!!
💙💙
I am obsessed with Free Label bras. They’re Canadian and they design for a large range of sizes, and they’re SO comfortable (bamboo, no wires). I will never wear anything else. My favourite is actually the one cotton bra, the Thompson “lounge” bra, but I had a breast reduction years ago and don’t need much support anymore. The Andie is for smaller cup sizes, the Becky for mid-range cup sizes and the Dani for larger cup sizes.
I soooo wanted Molke bras to work for me because the patterns are so cute, but I think the “correct” fit is just too snug and I want to feel like I’m wearing nothing.
oh these look intriguing! how compressive is the bamboo fabric?
Their website says Andie has medium compression, Becky medium-high and Dani high compression. I’ve tried all of them and the Andie is my favourite (of the bamboo options); I found Becky and Dani to be way too compressive for me – but that’s because I don’t want compression! In those two I felt like I was very strapped down (which is maybe what you want!). I have a C cup now so it makes sense that the Andie is the best fit for me. I wear it when I want more support and less movement but usually wear the Thompson, which isn’t compressive at all. The Becky and Dani are designed for people with larger chests who want more compression.
They have a ton of info and try-ons with people of different shapes and sizes on their Instagram!
Wow thank you so much for all of this info!!!!! Very jealous of your reduction but absolutely love that for you 💙
I also wear these. They’re one of the only bras i’ve just been able to just … not think about all day. i still can’t wait to get it off when i get home, but to be fair, i feel that way about all outside clothes. When I’m out of the house, i don’t notice it. Most other bras are constantly uncomfortable somehow, but not these.
Thank you! Darcy for this sexy bra it brings me a new idea for my lifestyle fashion and also for my daily use, I swear it will be suitable for my new collections.
Good
It is great.
I bought this bra because of this article. And it did change my life! THANK YOU
I just bought the Defy bra and I love it. How has yours held up over time?
As a blogger, I’m all about finding game-changing solutions that make life better. This wire-free bra for larger chests is an absolute gem! Comfort meets style, and it’s a total win-win. Check out my blog site where I share some another information..