Hauntings and Banishings: Loss and Rage for a Queer Adoptee

“Whether or not you are out in the world, being queer and belonging to a community of marginalized folks (even if it’s a community you only align with in a spiritual or distanced way) has its own problems with feelings of enoughness and the disenfranchisement or everyday trauma of living with an identity that is consistently questioned or belittled.”

Out of Our Parents’ Closets

Whether we’re trying to send a “f*ck you” to a homophobic dad or an “I love you” to a mom who can’t hear the words any more, it means something to share threads with a person who spawned you.

The House That Ruth Built

“It was lasagna night, and as the kitchen got ready to serve dinner, kids checked Facebook at the cyber center, watched cartoon shows with headphones on, and fooled around at the pool table. The things that differentiated this gathering from a high school cafeteria were small: the thin kid wearing a parka inside who came up, bashful, for a full plate of food three times; the kids who wrapped up food in tin foil or took it away with them in to-go containers.”

Shake, Don’t Wipe!

“Sometimes, when you’re in the business of parenting, you have to phone a friend for a bit of perspective and advice. Sometimes, you have to phone more than one.”

How My Motherhood Made My Mother Accept My Lesbianism

She didn’t say “I have suspected this for years and I still love you.” It went more like a Scared Straight kind of thing but instead of scaring me about drugs and a life of crime, she wanted to scare me straight, straight. “Just Say No to Lesbianism” straight.