My go-to, anybody, anytime present will always be an oven mitt. These little suckers take a maximum of 20 minutes to make and with the right fabric choice, can look super fancy and expensive.
I’m ready to take back the heritage that is so rightfully ours, and one way I’m going to do that is by homebrewing my own goddamn beer. With my girlfriend. And her cat. Please join us.
The performance of luxury is more important to me than ever. Plus you can channel your anger into rimming a glass.
People would love to thank you for these delicious gifts but their mouths are full right now, sorry.
Affordable, functional options for people who binge-watch Chopped regularly!
It’s almost Christmas! Still doesn’t feel like it, though. But maybe that’s because we’re not eating enough homemade seasonal candy, y’know?
You could spend your afternoon making an advent calendar on this very first day of December!
Even the most organized freelancers could probably stand to be a little more organized.
Did your friend/relative/coworker have a baby recently? Give a gift that shows you see how exhausted they are and you care.
This one goes out to all my vegetarian and vegan cuties.
“I get up off the floor, reach for a long, heavy leek and a cutting board and my favorite knife, its weight in my palm like an amulet. I feel like a stranger in my own life, but I have seven hours and eight dishes left. There is work to be done.”
So, you’re spending Thanksgiving 2016 alone. I’m here to let you know that spending Thanksgiving alone is not only just fine, it’s also damn fun.
I cook with so much garlic that I’m pretty sure my hands perpetually carry its scent, which I should probably apologize to my girlfriend for. But I will never stop doubling and tripling the amount of garlic a recipe calls for, because I like to live my truth.
Practically perfect in every way.
“I get a real sense of satisfaction from making something cute and domestic, just a bit deviant. Whether it’s a cake piped with ‘Happy Fucking Birthday’ or a set of kitchen towels with embroidered ball gags and whips — I just can’t get enough.”
Cozy boozy cider for you and your date person or your best friend or your mom or whoever IT’S PROPER FALL COCKTAIL TIME!
A reporter asked Hillary how many calories are in this and she booed him and kept eating. Damn right.
“E.L. Fudge is strictly for children, as no adult can actually eat them with any dignity or hope for their future.”
Get your adulting on by preparing a fancy-looking and beginner-level five-course meal for your next date night or dinner party.
Winter is coming, and you can be a hero!