This week Kristin’s in bed solo to give advice about getting a parent up to speed on what it means to have a non-binary kid, crushes, friendship, Judith Butler, and so much more! Sam the Cat makes a cameo too, obviously.
I’m a Taurus sun, Sagittarius moon non-binary person from France, who recently discovered that they feel much more at home in the men’s section of the stores.
This week, the Sun published a fascinating letter in their Dear Deidre advice column, in which a (presumably straight?) (presumably real???) married woman describes falling in love with another young mother at her child’s school and wonders if their tawdry extramarital affair is built to last.
“How much do I need to engage with my serious girlfriend’s racist immediate family members? She is close with them, and I’ve spent time with them in the past, but put simply I no longer have the energy or inclination to do so, even though I love my gf.”
This week Kristin got in bed with Autostraddle senior editor Heather Hogan to talk about queer representation on teevee, spirituality vs. religion and, of course, cats. (And beer.)
Today we look at a panoply of questions, which, while the situations of their querents are specific and concrete, encompass three of the most common questions we hear in relation to bisexuality: Am I actually bisexual or not? Am I pansexual or something else within the bi+ spectrum? How the fuck do I let people know I’m not straight?
That’s what friendships with queer and trans Christians have taught me: it is blessed indeed to want more, more of everything, more love and more gender and more faith and more life.
“Until recently I’ve lived in boot-cut blue jeans and snarky t-shirts, and my usual fall/winter wardrobe is that plus a flannel and tennis shoes. I’d like to class it up a little bit without having to take ages to get dressed in the morning, but somehow long-sleeve button-fronts just seem so formal!”
Impress your tattoo artist, confront your braggy woke friend, leave your fiancee, plus two HR questions get answered by a real professional!
Come for the memes, stay for the advice so honest you might start crying while eating an enormous frozen Costco pie-sized peanut butter cup.
“At the moment I wear jeans and a t-shirt with a pair of boots… but I have to meet big deal bosses/clients and I get the vibe I look too unprofessional.”
Keeping it casual with straight gals, wondering if your kid and divorce will torpedo your lesbian dating life, and feeling disconnected from the queer community post-breakup. Plus some updates from past advice seekers! Let’s go!
“I’ve been dating this person for four years who is genuinely the light of my life but has some anger management issues. Though they would never, ever turn that anger towards me, it still terrifies me just witnessing it. They are aware of it, but I don’t think they’ll ever go to therapy about it. They don’t really want to even though they acknowledge it’s a problem.”
It’s easy to get caught up in how difficult grad school is, and to use that difficulty as an excuse to slack off on taking care of yourself, but the skills you build now will follow you into your career. It’s more important than ever to really make time and space for YOU, and I don’t just mean bubble baths.
“I like to look like a “pretty boy,” wearing traditional masculine clothing with little hints of “masculine femininity” i.e. earrings, nice watches, some lace/floral patterns/soft pinks, rings. I pride myself in feeling a Peter Pan kind of boyish and youthful and fun, but still have a serious side and like to dress myself in nice business professional when the occasion calls for it.”
A ruined friendship, body hair at work, coming out a little later when you’re about to marry a dude, and a frank conversation about assault. We really can have it all.
“I’ve identified as a lesbian for three years now, and this identity makes me happy. But… I made out with one of my closest male friends whilst drunk, and then again whilst sober, and we’ve talked about it and decided to pursue a friends with benefits situation. So now I feel guilty, but I feel silly calling myself or thinking about “coming out again” as bi because it really is just this one guy; I’m not into “men,” I’m into women (and some NB people) and him, and that’s it. Am I betraying everyone?”
Do you know what a clitoris looks like? You will after you watch this video! Learn about clits and so much more by getting in bed with Kristin and Sophia Wallace!
“When I walk into stores I really struggle to know whether I actually like clothes, or I want to like clothes because I’m ‘supposed’ to like clothes because it’s socially acceptable, so I’m only wearing about two pairs of pants over and over again and I hate looking at myself in the mirror half the time.”
Get in here and get some loving advice from Kristin Russo.