“At the moment I wear jeans and a t-shirt with a pair of boots… but I have to meet big deal bosses/clients and I get the vibe I look too unprofessional.”
Keeping it casual with straight gals, wondering if your kid and divorce will torpedo your lesbian dating life, and feeling disconnected from the queer community post-breakup. Plus some updates from past advice seekers! Let’s go!
“I’ve been dating this person for four years who is genuinely the light of my life but has some anger management issues. Though they would never, ever turn that anger towards me, it still terrifies me just witnessing it. They are aware of it, but I don’t think they’ll ever go to therapy about it. They don’t really want to even though they acknowledge it’s a problem.”
It’s easy to get caught up in how difficult grad school is, and to use that difficulty as an excuse to slack off on taking care of yourself, but the skills you build now will follow you into your career. It’s more important than ever to really make time and space for YOU, and I don’t just mean bubble baths.
“I like to look like a “pretty boy,” wearing traditional masculine clothing with little hints of “masculine femininity” i.e. earrings, nice watches, some lace/floral patterns/soft pinks, rings. I pride myself in feeling a Peter Pan kind of boyish and youthful and fun, but still have a serious side and like to dress myself in nice business professional when the occasion calls for it.”
A ruined friendship, body hair at work, coming out a little later when you’re about to marry a dude, and a frank conversation about assault. We really can have it all.
“I’ve identified as a lesbian for three years now, and this identity makes me happy. But… I made out with one of my closest male friends whilst drunk, and then again whilst sober, and we’ve talked about it and decided to pursue a friends with benefits situation. So now I feel guilty, but I feel silly calling myself or thinking about “coming out again” as bi because it really is just this one guy; I’m not into “men,” I’m into women (and some NB people) and him, and that’s it. Am I betraying everyone?”
Do you know what a clitoris looks like? You will after you watch this video! Learn about clits and so much more by getting in bed with Kristin and Sophia Wallace!
“When I walk into stores I really struggle to know whether I actually like clothes, or I want to like clothes because I’m ‘supposed’ to like clothes because it’s socially acceptable, so I’m only wearing about two pairs of pants over and over again and I hate looking at myself in the mirror half the time.”
Get in here and get some loving advice from Kristin Russo.
“How can I support the way she wants to live and not drown in debt?”
“My gender, in a few words: femme boi, domestic witch, cry baby, plant mom.”
Going forward, all new episodes of GIBWK will be available to everyone who reads Autostraddle!
“As a 25 year old, 5’3″ AFAB genderqueer person, with a face that apparently screams ‘possibly a 14 year old unaccompanied minor in this airport??’, it’s important that I look professional enough (especially when I’m teaching) to convey some authority. Any advice you’ve got to help me achieve my goal of being the queer professor crush of everyone’s dreams?”
It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.
“The “dapper” butch looks I find when I try to google outfit inspiration don’t really fit my personality. I prefer an edgier, street style-esque sort of look, and I want to carry some of that style over into my workwear.”
What do you do when you can’t get what you want? If you’re feeling frustrated right now, you’re not alone. How do you keep your heart open?
It’s a hard time to have hope, but friends, don’t give up.
“Moving to Portland would be a dream come true, but I’m scared about being away from my support network, and finding people to live with who I can trust. Should I go?”
This week we find fits for someone looking for a “style reset” that lets them embrace their punk and grunge roots while also not being mistaken for a teenage boy anymore!