Hey lesbos and lesbo-allies! You know that show Lezberado that Showtime does online? It’s like this girl, and she talks crazy about The L Word and herself, etc. Well, the old Lezberado is on the lam for killing a mobster’s wife, throwing Jenny in the pool, poisoning Mr. Piddles and announcing at a press conference that she could fly. So they had to find someone new.
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Why oh why won’t Chaikenbake give us a decent [or any] sex scene on The L Word this season? In a world where all we seen on screen is heterosexual sex, we need somewhere where are desires are not just validated but portrayed.
Episode 606 of The L Word, titled “Lactose Intolerant,” is the worst thing I’ve seen on television since Episode 604 of The L Word. Howevs; whereas 604 was calmly terrible — bumbling softly along its housework-heavy path of mediocrity — 606 was outrageously, actively, aggressively terrible.
Next time you move to LA to be with your swim coach boyfriend, uncover lifelong lesbian longings via a literary-minded French seductress, get caught by boyfriend, get married to boyfriend in Vegas, road-trip back home on ’shrooms, discover your French lover’s Sugar Mama’s back in town, break up with the boyf and the girlf, move into your ex-husband’s vacated home, get lady-lover Shane to move in and consequently…well, you know what comes next.
This L Word recap was originally published on Riese’s personal L Word recap blog in early 2009, before the Autostraddle YOU know and love got invented! It has been republished here for your viewing delight, but there may be messed up formatting and missing pictures. Remember last week when I said that I wanted 603 to […]
See the joy and the laughter! At “LMFAO”’s end, Tasha’s proud of Alice, Bette & Tina are in love 4evs, Kit & Helena have successfully turned Hit Club into “Casablanca meets Studio Fifty-Fouh” (that’s my best transliteration of Kit’s pronunciation of “4″), Shane & Jenny are in the giggly charged-up first moments of what they still believe is Real Love and everyone is dancing and/or laughing! AND SCENE!!
What’s happening this week on the l word? Jane Lynch is naked, Max is pregs, Dylan is back, and Shane and Jenny are making out. oy vey.
Xena the warrior princess shows up for another round of adoration from her number one fans: the lesbians. Also, shocker: Jenny DIED.
Welcome! to the First L Word Recap Foreplay Session. Remember also when you’re at the edges of your seat that there’s gonna be like an even more exciting Autostraddle experience coming to you starting next week for reals. So you might just want to sit on the floor. I like sitting on the floor, personally.
I feel like they can’t kill Shane or Jenny, ’cause I imagine Mia and Kate might be the actresses most likely to be down for a guest appearance on The Farm, just ’cause they’re all friends and everyone likes working with their friends. Would Ilene cut off that possibility?
Someone just let Angelica honk the horn. already because shit is going DOWN in the season finale. Phyllis, Jodi, and Adele want it their way and Shane’s fucking [it all up] again but at least Helena and her money are here to save The Planet. Because where would be be without The Planet?
Another case of Really, Ilene, Really? Who names their characters Tootsie and Graciela?
Things that suck: when you and your girlfriend accidentally wear the same outfit, when everyone has PMS, trying to break up with a girlfriend who refuses to be broken up with, getting blackmailed, meeting a cute girl when you already have a perfectly nice girlfriend, etc. It’s all right here, girls.
Of all foods: french fries. Of all underthings: boybriefs. . Of all girls: Shane. Of all cheekbones: Tasha’s. Of all L Word writers: Angela Robinson. Of all cities: New York City. Of all songs: “Just Like Heaven,” by the Cure. It’s just … such a perfect song, and the last song I ever expected to hear during an L Word sex scene!
Everything in LA is too hot to live. The ladies of The L Word have a showdown a la “The Godfather” and then everyone goes home [or to an elevator] and has a lot of sex while Freezepop plays in the back.
Tasha faces THE BIG BAD and Nikki experiences some serious liquid heat and Jodi wears a terrible frock at a really strange dinner party.
Cut. Print. Adele is getting creep-city but we don’t care. There are court cases to be won and lesbian Turkish oil wrestling to be done.
Just fyi, no one wants to look like they’re moving furniture when they’re fucking. In other news, Adele is creepily turning into Jenny and Phyllis’s daughter is a babe.
The last 20 minutes were some of the best I’ve seen on this show. It was fun and quality and featured all those verbs they sing about in that opening song we all cream over. Um, fighting, winning, fucking, whatevs. Up until that? Blah blah podcasts blah love cindy blah. You get the picture.
It’s that time ladies. Queue everyone’s head exploding. That’s right: Tina and Bette are back in love/made out. Also Alice is the perfect housewife and Jenny is the perfect roommate.
So guys: Ourchart. have you heard of it? OurChart, I mean. Are you on OurChart? Basically Peggy Peabody and Carlie’s Angels are the only redeeming facets of this godforsaken show.