It’s not a revolution … but it’s solid. It’s sweet, it’s snappy, it’s clever, smart, delicious. It gets away with things American teevee shows never try for. It’s everything television should be.
We had a special visitor from Australia (Oz, co-leader of The L Word Online ) and creator, head writer, director and executive producer of AfterEllen’s hit series Alexi’s Closet, Alexi Melvin. Because the “Fly Riese to LA and/or Haviland to NYC so they can vlog and watch The L Word together” fund is very empty (TIP JAR PEOPLE!), she obvs won’t be watching, but I did get everyone else to come, and this little post will end with all of Team Autostraddle telling YOU what they’ve liked best, and loathed, about The L Word thus far.
“Street Talk” is, without a doubt, on my personal Top Ten of monumental, earth-shattering, all-time life-changing television events. It’s right up there with Jordan Catalano & Angela Chase holding hands, Dana & Alice makin’ sweet love for the first time, Obama’s victory speech and that man-on-the-moon thing.
In the spirit of continuing season four roundup coverage, let’s count down the best quotes of the season.
Who’s going to die in season six? Jenny? Most people seem to be leaning towards Jenny. This is ’cause everyone’s confusing “Who would I like to kill?” with “who’s gonna be killed.” Jenny will never die, she is immortal, like Satan.
The most telling part of this whole she-bang is the ominous “Jenny Schecter 2002-2008″ graphic that concludes the program. Not only does it imply that Mia looks hella old for a 6-year-old, it also serves to remind us that life begins and ends in the hands of our Creator, the Lord Above, Her Majesty Chief Alaskan Protection Community Coordinator Princess of the Lesbian Universe of All Peoples. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
In a countdown of the best scenes of season four, we start with Jenny calling Stacey Merkin a vagina wig and take a break with the basketball game at number six. Scenes one through five are coming atcha soon.
Better is riding a tractor, Jenny is riding a raft, and Paige is riding Shane in the ’50s. Shining moments include scenes with the Lynch [who can do no wrong] and Dana Fairbanks [may she rest in peace].
Why are there twice as many lesbian squabbles as lesbian sexy moments in this show? Oh yeah, it’s because this is the way that we liveeeeeeeee. This is the one where Ilene reminds us all that men are disgusting, loathsome creatures by making henry cut his toenails.
The top three ways you can tell EZ-Girl wrote this episode? Max kissed mice when he was little, Tina likes movies that are very “visual”, and Catharine thinks drawing with lipstick is sexy. Luckily, Jenny just wants to take off her clothes in public.
Oh look! A special visit from The Ditty Bops! In this installment of our favorite saga, Alice says “what the frickin’ frack?!,” Max stlll has an unfortunately soulpatch, and Alice and Shane make us remember why vandalism can be fun.
Despite the fact that angus is a lying low-down nanny-fucking motherfucker, GIRLS ACTUALLY HAVE SEX THIS EPISODE. Even Kit and Papi. Ew, we know.
Jenny likes gardening. Kit is a high hoe. We’re all Whores.
It’s almost Valentine’s Day and Riese is sending out all her love. Luckily there’s lots to love in this episode with everyone looking very Shane today, the lesbian phone tree, Tasha being generally adorable, and of course: Angela Robinson.
This week in L Word University we learn how to say fuck in sign language, Phyllis assigns “The Whole Lesbian Sex Book,” and Alice and Jenny channel the masters.
First of all: Hellooooooo Paige! Someone tell Papi that she can be a chula without the Hobby Lobby hats, please. In other news, remember how you laughed the whole time they played basketball? Me too.
I hope you had sex this week because no one on The L Word did. Instead, Phyllis has a crush on Alice, Angus is Butter Boy, and Shane continues to feed Shay food that she should be eating.
Max would like to do an internet search for you and Jenny wants to wear doilies and scream about merkins. Can we talk about how cute Alice is as Ira Glass?
Have you heard about OurChart dot com? Helena’s poor, Shane can’t handle life, and Better wants arson arson! Also: OurChart. You should check it out.
We all know that foreplay’s what this show does best. Like a twatilicious lover, The L Word relishes in getting us all riled up and subsequently leaving us alone and naked on the couch with a lukewarm Dos Equis and tears in our eyes. “High and dry” I believe it’s called.