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Lala posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 11 years, 8 months ago
So I’m completely new and desperately in need of some advice… where on earth do you meet fellow femmes, and how on earth do you know they’re actually gay ?! Is there a secret handshake or something I’m missing ?
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Lala posted an update in the group
Femme Straddlers 11 years, 8 months agoSo I’m completely new and desperately in need of some advice… where on earth do you meet fellow femmes, and how on earth do you know they’re actually gay ?! Is there a secret handshake or something I’m missing ?
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Femme invisibility is the bane of my existence. We should really have a secret handshake.
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There really needs to be a secret handshake. Usually eye contact can seal the deal. But sometimes telepathic communication isn’t enough; a secret handshake would be so cool…
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i fourth the secret handshake proposition. i can’t ever tell if a girl’s queer or not when they’re femme. apparently it’s pretty much impossible to tell when looking at me, so there’s that. i usually just wear a rainbow bracelet all the time in hopes that other queers will figure it out.
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I do the rainbow bracelet thing too!!!
Also, I’m planning on going to Smith next year, and taking a women’s studies class as a freshman. I feel like that kind of counts as a secret handshake.-
congratulations! i’m in my first year at binghamton right now, but i’ve got a queer friend over at smith who absolutely loves it there. i keep trying for the intro women’s studies course here, but what do you know, it’s always filled. the rainbow bracelet’s the only thing that keeps people from assuming i’m straight. what’d be a femme-y way of…[Read more]
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I tried the rainbow bracelet, but then felt like I was trying too hard. No one EVER thinks that I am gay, but when they are around me for long enough it becomes pretty obvious.
I have gone back and forth with this, and sometimes get defensive because the best part of being gay is being who I am while still having the badass quality of having sex…[Read more]
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`Majesta I’m so jealous, the parents wouldn’t let me apply to Smith. Also jealous that you’re already into college and I’m stuck waiting til april… :'(
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Why didn’t your parents let you apply to Smith? Did you apply to any other all women’s colleges?
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hand tucks!
5second+ eye contact! (lols that one makes me laugh)But the hand shake would be so fucking awesome.
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I was just complaining about this to a friend yesterday. I feel like I’m never going to find a gf in the “real world” because of this. I say we all start wearing pink flamingo necklaces or bracelets. pink flamingos have a history in the gay world as a secret symbol to identify other gays. much better than a rainbow necklace in my opinion.
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this posting is so old but ugh femme invisibility makes me rage SO HARD. Everyone seems to think being femme makes you less gay somehow, and don’t even try telling someone you’re a femme who happens to be into other femmes!! OHHH NO. al;adjsf;lsf UGH
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I am so glad it isn’t just me! I know I’m as gay as it gets but I don’t really show it. Unless I’m wearing my HRC “Legalize Gay” shirt everyone assumes I’m straight. I tried getting a hair cut to make me look more lesbian – but that failed. I look girlier. It is really hard to notice and be noticed by women and NOT men being a femme. Handshake??…[Read more]
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Lala posted an update in the group
Singlestraddlers… Ready to Mingle! 11 years, 8 months ago
Hey, any Brits out there?
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I’m not British :(
… but just moved to England!-
Wow, totally only just spotted this!! Where did you move to?
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I’m near Cambridge-ish
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You have to ask. Just think – maybe that hot girl over there is actually gay and too shy to approach you. Maybe she’s afraid you’re not gay.
The only thing you have to fear is maybe an awkward laugh – in my experience most straight women have been flattered by my attentions and very kind in rejecting me.
Wear a rainbow bracelet or something. It’s…[Read more]
in gay bars or parties? I assume everyone there is gay even though women will always ask me if I’m straight, it’s annoying but I suppose it solves things for them, I say look for eye contact and short fingernails.
Sounds strange but talk to, flirt, and hit on all ladies (young and old) to practice. I practice with ladies working at malls, grocery stores, etc. Brings a smile to their monotonous day and it’s good practice for confidence building. Then when you meet a girl who likes girls, you will be less nervous. A non offending flattering line might be……[Read more]