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Jess posted an update in the group
Fencestraddlers 11 years, 8 months agoStraddlers, 26 yr old bi cisgal here and I need your advice. I am in a LTR with a man whom I love very much, we have been dating for 7 years (crazy, I know!) and we live together. My BF and I have plans to travel the world, possibly teach abroad after he finishes university (we both started college late).
I am worried about our commitment,…[Read more]
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Sounds like me a few years ago. In my case, I did a lot of growing. A LOT. A lot of learning. A lot of patience. A lot of messing up. But it was worth it. Today I am in a very happy polyamorous relationship with a man and a woman. We are in a triangle, which means we are all together, just how I wanted. Other polys I know have vees (ie. you with…[Read more]
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This sounds like me, too! Though, unlike Leesa, I am all about monogamy. I was in a monogamous relationship with a guy for five years. Spoiler alert: we broke up.
The thing is, I was planning our wedding while second-guessing my commitment every step of the way, and that is TELLING. If you find yourself wondering if you should even be in the…[Read more]-
Totally agree! Good luck with whatever you decide. I think it might be stressing you out more to think that this is all about sexuality, when, when it comes down to it, the most important thing is: you’re in a LTR, and you have doubts. I don’t think any doubts mean the relationship isn’t worth it, but you def. have to consider whether you’re…[Read more]
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Jess joined the group
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Lauren Szymanski posted an update in the group
Fencestraddlers 11 years, 10 months agoSo, I am a 20 year old college student who had very homophobic parents and so when I admitted to having feelings for a girl i was so harshly reprimanded that I refused to even look at girls but the problem now is that I am finding girls more attractive and I’m just stuck on how to separate whether im just bisexual or just hetrosexual and curious.…[Read more]
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At what point do you reveal that to someone? I mean, it seems that whenever you feel comfortable makes sense, but there’s a part of me that worries about being misleading to people. Then again, ANOTHER part of me is like, saying something like, “hi, I’d like to ask you out but I identify as questioning” seems like an impossibly scary thing to do…[Read more]
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Thank you for the advice! Ya I havent been able to get the courage to ask out any girls because I feel that because I’m questioning that they would be turned off by it. I guess it comes from that stereotype that gay’s hate bisexuals. I’ve had a few friends tell me about it so its hard to get over that fear quite yet
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Madeline, you are pretty damned awesome! Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this with us! And Lauren — I hope you find the courage to ask out a really cute girl!
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Late reply but: Omg I totally feel you — I’m a 21 y/o college student going through a similar thing. Help you figure it out/have figured it out in the months since you posted, and come back here to share your wisdom/brave stories with the rest of us.
Good luck!
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Lauren Szymanski joined the group
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Cat posted an update in the group
Fencestraddlers 11 years, 10 months agoI’m a 3…(is there a 3.5??) but things have shifted as I’ve become more comfortable with being visibly bi/queer and sleeping with women on the reg and not just as an occasional whim.
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Mareika posted an update in the group
Fencestraddlers 11 years, 10 months agois there a better word for homoflexible?
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kinsey 4 maybe?
also, you’re awesome, I’ve never met someone who identifies on the gayer side of the spectrum without declaring themself full-on gay (not that there’s anything wrong with where ANYONE falls, etc etc, but it’s cool to find people who occupy the less common parts of it)
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are mostly-homos rare? do you think most fencestraddlers are kinsey 3?
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most fencestraddlers I’ve met are between primarily hetero and perfectly in the middle, though that could be a result of how much easier it is to find hetero action (sheer numbers, etc)
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It’s a lot easier to find heterosexual action purely based on numbers, and also because a lot of lesbians don’t want to date bisexual women, whereas straight men are usually fine with it (although some are a little TOO fine with it and for annoying reasons). From what I’ve heard from bi men, it tends to be the reverse with them – gay men are…[Read more]
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Most I’ve met tend to be kinsey 1 or 2s…don’t run into many who were 3 and up.
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Most of the bis I meet IRL tend to be straight-leaning (1 or 2), most of the ones I see on this site tend to be gay-leaning (4 or 5). In both I feel weird for being pretty 50/50!
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I’m definitely on the “gayer side of the spectrum” but continue to identify as bi, not lesbian. Kinsey scale I’m probably a 5, but continue to recognize my attraction to men.
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To me, ”heteroflexible” and ”homoflexible” always implied kinsey 1 and 5 respectively – someone who is predominantly one way but will occasionally dip into the other end of the pool/is not closed to the possibility that they might be a little bi. I’d say 2s and 4s are bisexuals with a preference. That’s just me, though.
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now what, exactly, is the difference between 4 and 5?
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Well, here’s the full Kinsey scale –
0 = heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = bisexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 = homosexual-
yes — this i understand — but what about the difference between romantic vs. sexual attraction?
and about actual behavior vs. desired behavior?
past vs. present vs. future sexual encounters/relationships?to me it seems so complicated
where am i-
um i realize you posted this ages ago, but i just joined the group and saw it. i’ve always wondered this too — i’ve had more actual hetero encounters/experience, but tend to want/desire relationships with women more, and feel more strongly about those relationships, i think? i think in some ways the kinsey scale is a bit limiting, and what you…[Read more]
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Jo joined the group
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