Groups | Activity | Stephanie Renihan

Lindsay posted an update in the group Genderstraddlers 11 years, 8 months ago

I think I’m going to post this question in a few groups to try to maximize advice… Please comment if you have any thoughts!

I’m a queer cis femme college grad who just started seeing a female-bodied genderqueer person who goes by the pronouns they/their/them. I’m doing my best to get used to using these pronouns, which I consistently do when…[Read more]

Nikki replied 11 years, 8 months ago

Well, as someone who is only out to some people as trans, I ask people when I tell them about me to continue using my old name and pronouns in public. My guess then for you would to be continuing using female pronouns until you’re able to talk with them about it.
- Lindsay replied 11 years, 7 months ago
  
  Nikki, thank you for your advice! I thought I had responded but apparently not–sorry! See my response to smartypants below if you’re interested in how things turned out… thanks again for your input.
smartypants replied 11 years, 7 months ago

I maybe a little late to this party but wanted to lend some support–and also, applaud both your sensitivity and sense of politeness. I’m a big fan of being polite! Perhaps since your original comment was about a month ago, you’d be willing to let us know how it evolved for you?–what did you decide? How did you choose to negotiate this?–hope all is well.
- Lindsay replied 11 years, 7 months ago
  
  Hey! Sorry for the slow response… saw this at work last week and didn’t get to reply. I ended up finally talking to the person about the pronoun question a couple weeks ago. They told me that they prefer for me/people to use their pronouns (they/their) in the company of others, since using she/her can create an uncomfortable disconnect on the…[Read more]
  - smartypants replied 11 years, 7 months ago
    
    Well done Lindsay for having that conversation with your friend–and if I remember correctly, a romantic friend, n’est ce pas? In which case, I hope it’s going well…..
    W/r/t friends who keep blowing it with the pronouns–I think calling on it “in the moment” (no Italics!) is probs the way I would go. Like small children and puppies, training…[Read more]

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