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Susie posted an update in the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 11 years, 10 months ago
hello there! can i please ask for some opinions on age differences? to elaborate, a really nice girl messaged me on ok cupid, saying she knows that she’s younger than i’m looking for, but she thinks we’ll get on. i’m 27, and she’s 22. i messaged back, saying she is too young, but seeing as she’s lovely (and newly out) does she want to meet for a coffee as friends? and so. we met up, and she is absolutely everything i do not go for – 22, shorter than me, very femme – AND VERY CUTE. and now, i am conflicted. i think she’s lovely, and we do have a lot in common, but she’s never dated a girl, and i’m a bit lacking in the old dating experience myself. so, i suppose my question is; is it creepy for a 27/nearly-28-year-old to date a 22 year old? and what is an acceptable age difference? because i’ve come out a bit later than most, most lesbian friends i make tend to be about 3 years younger than me. is that a creepy or acceptable age difference? all opinions/comments/suggestions welcome! thanks guys. :)
for me that would be too big if an age gap. but i think that in lesbian relationships there is a higher chance of an age gap??
Thanks for the advice Ami! It does seem like a lot… I’m worried. But I’m really struggling to meet girls my own age, I don’t know where they are! They must have set up their own wee lesbian circle some time ago. She’s graduated and everything, so she’s not a child, but… I don’t know. It’s not like I’m super mature, but I don’t want to be a creepy cradle snatching lesbian. :(
I think the age gap would be more of an issue if say you were 21/22 and she was 16/17. When you get into your 20’s people see you more as an adult, and age gaps become less of a ‘OMG she’s how old?!’-you know what I mean? I guess it basically comes down to how the 2 of you feel about it, if it bothers either of you now then chances are it’s never going to work out. But hey, you could remain friends and who knows who’ll you meet through each other? That’s only my view, if it helps, if not, just ignore it!
She doesn’t seem bothered by the age gap. The only question I can think of is, are you bothered by it? Who cares what other people think… they’re probably just jelly.
when I was 16 I went out with a girl 3.5years older than me. It never really bothered me or anyone else I think, not quite the same difference but your friends will get to know her and shouldn’t judge you for it. Why miss out a chance on something special?
Also this kind of makes me want to reopen my OKC, just a little bit.
You guys rock. Reading your opinions and having a good old think, I have decided that who cares what other people think? A wee bit of an age disparity is just not a big deal. I’m not sure it’s going to work out with this particular girl, but given I keep on meeting youngsters this is all very relevant to my life just now, and I won’t panic over dating younger girls. I think it’s a bit of a heteronormative hangover tbh, I’m used to being the younger half of the relationship. Anyways, thank you ladies for the advice! And Cindy, you should totally reopen your OKC… or go on an AS meet, I know various couples that have found love via AutoScots. Awwww.
I’m 27 and my girlfriend is turning 21 in two weeks… once in awhile the age difference creates some issues, but for the most part I usually forget about it. She is pretty mature for her age, and I’m pretty immature… people always assume she’s 23-25 years old and that I’m 18-21 years old lol… either way, once you’re a grown up the age difference isn’t all that dramatic of a thing anymore. Good luck!
I think this isnt a major issue at all. My girlfriend just turned 32 and I am 21. We meet in school and she looks much younger than she is but when by the time I found out how old she was, I was already smitten. Initially we both thought the age gap would be a major issue but it really hasnt been. As a matter a fact (and maybe this is just me) I think this experience had made me realized that I have a preference for older girls. I think as long as you are both on the same page it shouldnt be a problem. Good luck!