Groups | Activity | Emily

Britt replied 11 years, 10 months ago

Femme invisibility is the bane of my existence. We should really have a secret handshake.
- Majesta replied 11 years, 10 months ago
  
  There really needs to be a secret handshake. Usually eye contact can seal the deal. But sometimes telepathic communication isn’t enough; a secret handshake would be so cool…
  - doctormccoy replied 11 years, 10 months ago
    
    i fourth the secret handshake proposition. i can’t ever tell if a girl’s queer or not when they’re femme. apparently it’s pretty much impossible to tell when looking at me, so there’s that. i usually just wear a rainbow bracelet all the time in hopes that other queers will figure it out.
    - Majesta replied 11 years, 10 months ago
      
      I do the rainbow bracelet thing too!!!
      Also, I’m planning on going to Smith next year, and taking a women’s studies class as a freshman. I feel like that kind of counts as a secret handshake.
      - doctormccoy replied 11 years, 10 months ago
        
        congratulations! i’m in my first year at binghamton right now, but i’ve got a queer friend over at smith who absolutely loves it there. i keep trying for the intro women’s studies course here, but what do you know, it’s always filled. the rainbow bracelet’s the only thing that keeps people from assuming i’m straight. what’d be a femme-y way of…[Read more]
        
        Maria replied 11 years, 10 months ago
        
        I tried the rainbow bracelet, but then felt like I was trying too hard. No one EVER thinks that I am gay, but when they are around me for long enough it becomes pretty obvious.
        I have gone back and forth with this, and sometimes get defensive because the best part of being gay is being who I am while still having the badass quality of having sex…[Read more]
      - Courtney replied 11 years, 10 months ago
        
        `Majesta I’m so jealous, the parents wouldn’t let me apply to Smith. Also jealous that you’re already into college and I’m stuck waiting til april… :'(
        
        Majesta replied 11 years, 10 months ago
        
        Why didn’t your parents let you apply to Smith? Did you apply to any other all women’s colleges?
  - Josselyn replied 11 years, 9 months ago
    
    hand tucks!
    5second+ eye contact! (lols that one makes me laugh)
    
    But the hand shake would be so fucking awesome.
Trisha replied 11 years, 8 months ago

I was just complaining about this to a friend yesterday. I feel like I’m never going to find a gf in the “real world” because of this. I say we all start wearing pink flamingo necklaces or bracelets. pink flamingos have a history in the gay world as a secret symbol to identify other gays. much better than a rainbow necklace in my opinion.
Sarrah replied 11 years, 6 months ago

this posting is so old but ugh femme invisibility makes me rage SO HARD. Everyone seems to think being femme makes you less gay somehow, and don’t even try telling someone you’re a femme who happens to be into other femmes!! OHHH NO. al;adjsf;lsf UGH
Loretta Williams replied 11 years, 6 months ago

I am so glad it isn’t just me! I know I’m as gay as it gets but I don’t really show it. Unless I’m wearing my HRC “Legalize Gay” shirt everyone assumes I’m straight. I tried getting a hair cut to make me look more lesbian – but that failed. I look girlier. It is really hard to notice and be noticed by women and NOT men being a femme. Handshake??…[Read more]

@mle