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Becca joined the group
Straddler-on-Straddler advice 12 years, 4 months ago
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Rie posted an update in the group
Straddlers: There’s a cool local event involving a lot of semifamous authors getting into performance shenanigans. I’d like to ask a girl I met while volunteering to join me, but I don’t wanna be a creeper. What’s the best way of doing this?
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what kind of contact info do you have for her?
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Only Facebook
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Well it sounds like there’s a low chance of being a creeper here… if you’re on good conversational terms just leave a post on her fb asking if she’d like to join you. If you haven’t really talked I’d message her saying something like “Hey, we haven’t talked much but you seem cool… would you like to go to this with me?”
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I’d try chat if you’re both online, otherwise a PM sounds good. I think the best way to think is what would you do/how would you react in her shoes :)
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Awww, thanks! I sent her a facebook message earlier this week, and she was very kind but had to say no cause she had a friend visiting.
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Candice posted an update in the group
Straddle your Feminism 12 years, 4 months ago
Anyone have to edit their too gay wardrobe for work?
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I work at a part of the UN, and am one of 3 or 4 Americans on my floor. As a result they think all my gay signifiers(coded to a very specific regional culture) are just stylish affectations. It’s kind of endearing.
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That is pretty adorable. I work in a very open atmosphere, but there are a lot of older workers who clearly don’t know how to label me because I don’t fit into their binary.
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Candice joined the group
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brooke joined the group
Straddlers on Coming Out 12 years, 4 months ago
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cait posted an update in the group
So I already know there is no answer, but how the he’ll do I stop staring at the straight girl and imagining if I wait patiently enough she will be mine? I mean when she chats with other people I get jealous, which is ridiculous cause she can and should do whatever she wants. I try to be honest with myself and admit i’ve put her on a pedestal and…[Read more]
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Uh, maybe you could start some sort of Really Absorbing Project that required that you Go Places (where she isn’t) and Do Things Constructively and just generally have other things on your mind for a while and then maybe you’ll be out of this feedback loop of unghh. Maybe one of your friends has something you could help with.
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I think we’ve all been there with someone who wasn’t/isn’t interested, they don’t even have to be straight. It sounds like you are honest with yourself about how unrealistic your feelings/attraction may be (but isn’t all attraction like that?). Is there any way you can get to know her/her flaws better to try and kill the attraction?
I usually…[Read more]
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cait joined the group
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oxfordcommas joined the group
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Kelsey joined the group
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Dani posted an update in the group
I like this girl, she’s cool. She lives down the street, we talk a lot via text message – but every time I ask her out she blows me off. She’s definitely gay – so it’s not a “questioning her sexuality” thing. She told me I’m intimidating in the witty kind-of way. Ok – so i’m intimidating (not the first time i’ve heard that from a girl). What the…[Read more]
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I don’t want to dash your hopes, but she may just not be interested. I know a lot of women who would rather make excuses than actually just tell someone that they aren’t interested, so it’s worth considering that too. If that’s not the case though, I suggest trying to just hang out with her in a general context, without necessarily the pressure of…[Read more]
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I’m with @discospider… she probably just doesn’t want to ruin the friendship by saying no. But props to you for having the guts to ask her out, perhaps ask her to join you in a group thing where she can bring friends too, something like that? Thenyou’ll def be able to see if you’re getting a friend zone vibe.
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So, I had a feeling she was into me, because she texts me at least once a week – without me texting her or anything. I knew it wasn’t the date nervousness thing because I’ve asked her to cook outs, bbqs, the beach etc. She lives so close that it was weird like – what the heck is up? So I pressed her this week because I was leaving on vacay and
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Ouch ): I wish people could just be upfront about this sort of thing. You ask someone out, they say, ‘you’re amazing, but I’m happily taken’, and the game is over and no-one’s feelings are hurt. It’s just mean for a taken person not to disclose upfront!
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