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Ameera joined the group
Fencestraddlers 11 years, 9 months ago -
Jess posted an update in the group
Fencestraddlers 11 years, 9 months agoStraddlers, 26 yr old bi cisgal here and I need your advice. I am in a LTR with a man whom I love very much, we have been dating for 7 years (crazy, I know!) and we live together. My BF and I have plans to travel the world, possibly teach abroad after he finishes university (we both started college late).
I am worried about our commitment,…[Read more]
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Sounds like me a few years ago. In my case, I did a lot of growing. A LOT. A lot of learning. A lot of patience. A lot of messing up. But it was worth it. Today I am in a very happy polyamorous relationship with a man and a woman. We are in a triangle, which means we are all together, just how I wanted. Other polys I know have vees (ie. you with…[Read more]
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This sounds like me, too! Though, unlike Leesa, I am all about monogamy. I was in a monogamous relationship with a guy for five years. Spoiler alert: we broke up.
The thing is, I was planning our wedding while second-guessing my commitment every step of the way, and that is TELLING. If you find yourself wondering if you should even be in the…[Read more]-
Totally agree! Good luck with whatever you decide. I think it might be stressing you out more to think that this is all about sexuality, when, when it comes down to it, the most important thing is: you’re in a LTR, and you have doubts. I don’t think any doubts mean the relationship isn’t worth it, but you def. have to consider whether you’re…[Read more]
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Jess joined the group
Fencestraddlers 11 years, 9 months ago -
Wynne joined the group
Autostraddle Over 30 11 years, 9 months ago -
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Science Fictional 11 years, 9 months ago -
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Science Fictional 11 years, 10 months ago -
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Fencestraddlers 11 years, 10 months ago -
Emma posted an update in the group
Autostraddle Over 30 11 years, 10 months agoI’m turning 31 in four days and it’s making me depressed, anyone have any tips for overcoming these feelings?
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just remember that your 30s are better than your 20s. You’re still young, and you’ve got your shit a little bit more together than you did when you were in your 20s. :)
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Emma joined the group
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Science Fictional 11 years, 10 months ago -
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Lauren Szymanski posted an update in the group
Fencestraddlers 11 years, 10 months agoSo, I am a 20 year old college student who had very homophobic parents and so when I admitted to having feelings for a girl i was so harshly reprimanded that I refused to even look at girls but the problem now is that I am finding girls more attractive and I’m just stuck on how to separate whether im just bisexual or just hetrosexual and curious.…[Read more]
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At what point do you reveal that to someone? I mean, it seems that whenever you feel comfortable makes sense, but there’s a part of me that worries about being misleading to people. Then again, ANOTHER part of me is like, saying something like, “hi, I’d like to ask you out but I identify as questioning” seems like an impossibly scary thing to do…[Read more]
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Thank you for the advice! Ya I havent been able to get the courage to ask out any girls because I feel that because I’m questioning that they would be turned off by it. I guess it comes from that stereotype that gay’s hate bisexuals. I’ve had a few friends tell me about it so its hard to get over that fear quite yet
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Madeline, you are pretty damned awesome! Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this with us! And Lauren — I hope you find the courage to ask out a really cute girl!
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Late reply but: Omg I totally feel you — I’m a 21 y/o college student going through a similar thing. Help you figure it out/have figured it out in the months since you posted, and come back here to share your wisdom/brave stories with the rest of us.
Good luck!
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Lauren Szymanski joined the group
Fencestraddlers 11 years, 10 months ago -
Cat posted an update in the group
Fencestraddlers 11 years, 11 months agoI’m a 3…(is there a 3.5??) but things have shifted as I’ve become more comfortable with being visibly bi/queer and sleeping with women on the reg and not just as an occasional whim.
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Mareika posted an update in the group
Fencestraddlers 11 years, 11 months agois there a better word for homoflexible?
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kinsey 4 maybe?
also, you’re awesome, I’ve never met someone who identifies on the gayer side of the spectrum without declaring themself full-on gay (not that there’s anything wrong with where ANYONE falls, etc etc, but it’s cool to find people who occupy the less common parts of it)
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are mostly-homos rare? do you think most fencestraddlers are kinsey 3?
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most fencestraddlers I’ve met are between primarily hetero and perfectly in the middle, though that could be a result of how much easier it is to find hetero action (sheer numbers, etc)
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It’s a lot easier to find heterosexual action purely based on numbers, and also because a lot of lesbians don’t want to date bisexual women, whereas straight men are usually fine with it (although some are a little TOO fine with it and for annoying reasons). From what I’ve heard from bi men, it tends to be the reverse with them – gay men are…[Read more]
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Most I’ve met tend to be kinsey 1 or 2s…don’t run into many who were 3 and up.
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Most of the bis I meet IRL tend to be straight-leaning (1 or 2), most of the ones I see on this site tend to be gay-leaning (4 or 5). In both I feel weird for being pretty 50/50!
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I’m definitely on the “gayer side of the spectrum” but continue to identify as bi, not lesbian. Kinsey scale I’m probably a 5, but continue to recognize my attraction to men.
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To me, ”heteroflexible” and ”homoflexible” always implied kinsey 1 and 5 respectively – someone who is predominantly one way but will occasionally dip into the other end of the pool/is not closed to the possibility that they might be a little bi. I’d say 2s and 4s are bisexuals with a preference. That’s just me, though.
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now what, exactly, is the difference between 4 and 5?
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Well, here’s the full Kinsey scale –
0 = heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = bisexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 = homosexual-
yes — this i understand — but what about the difference between romantic vs. sexual attraction?
and about actual behavior vs. desired behavior?
past vs. present vs. future sexual encounters/relationships?to me it seems so complicated
where am i-
um i realize you posted this ages ago, but i just joined the group and saw it. i’ve always wondered this too — i’ve had more actual hetero encounters/experience, but tend to want/desire relationships with women more, and feel more strongly about those relationships, i think? i think in some ways the kinsey scale is a bit limiting, and what you…[Read more]
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Jo joined the group
Fencestraddlers 11 years, 11 months ago -
Brigitte joined the group
Science Fictional 11 years, 11 months ago - Load More
