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Sweet joined the group
Straddle your Feminism 12 years, 5 months ago
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Sinthe posted an update in the group
How do you deal with misogynistic or homophobic language from people you care about? I’ve been trying to keep my dad from saying “dyke” for the past four years with zero progress. (He just kind of laughs whenever I say anything against it because I’m such a silly little creature, yaknow.) I have a twin brother who I love deeply but who is even…[Read more]
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So difficult. Have you ever persuaded them of anything else, and if so you how did you it, i.e. what works on them? My parents are deeply geeky, so giving them essays to read seems to be working. Whether it’s more effective coming from family or stranger prob depends on the relationship – sounds like your dad has issues with taking you…[Read more]
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I think AS had an article on dealing with offensive language from people you know a while ago. And this guide from Amanda Marcotte is more about mythbusting than just dealing with sexist slurs, but you might find it interesting and helpful nonetheless: http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/comments/is_it_worth_it_to_argue_down_right_wing_myths
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I’ve also noticed that a good way to call people out is to use humor. For example, say that you hear somebody say that it’s weird for a boy to like to play with dolls. You could say something like “Wow, I didn’t know that genitalia had an effect on toy preference!” (obviously, genitalia does not determine gender, but people who make these…[Read more]
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I sympathize with you so, so much on this. The same thing has happened to me with people I’m close to and I haven’t really had a lot of luck changing people’s opinions on things. With one family member, I finally just said “These things you say hurt me. Seriously. You’re my aunt; why don’t you care that you’re hurting me?” It didn’t change…[Read more]
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You probably saw this if you looked at the feministe link, but this is really helpful: http://www.illdoctrine.com/2008/07/how_to_tell_people_they_sound.html
Another thing I think you need to figure out is if you’re dealing with the virulent, down-to-their-bones kind of hate or the privilege-denying-cluelessness. If it’s the former, there’s kind…[Read more]
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Julie K. posted an update in the group
I’m writing a horror screenplay. There’s a part where a Professor is dumped by his girlfriend. The Professor in a rage grabs a vial of monster blood and stabs it into her neck thus turning her into a monster. It’s horrific and awful, but the professor gets killed by the end of the screenplay and it all has a thematic point to it.
I was telling…[Read more]
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Well, first of all, congrats to you on not immediately shooting your friends in the face. There are always some people who will read the most disturbing shit into your work no matter what you do, just because they’re seeing everything through their own poison lens. But when your screenplay is made, just be sure it’s clear that this *isn’t* “what…[Read more]
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Yeah, pretty much what Raksha said. It does seem disturbing that they’re so happy about that kinda thing.
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Yeah, it was a creepy experience.
I hope I don’t sound like a complete push over when I say that one of these guys in other respects is a pretty nice guy.
He actual co-produced my no-budget (yet extremely awesome) indie lesbian movie that I’m working on right now to the extent that the movie would not have been made if it wasn’t for his help.…[Read more]
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Ooh, and indie lesbian movie? Definitely let us know when your movie is done!
Re: your friends disturbing flashes of misogyny. Yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve had friends like that. I always felt guilty and icky if I didn’t say *something* in response to those little incidents and I like to think that gave them something to think about. But…[Read more]-
I agree. Sometimes I’m a chicken and opt out of any kind of confrontation. However, it’s better to say something or mention if someone’s being misogynist or homophobic. I gotta be more gutsy.
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I don’t have so much of a problem with the misogyny, but I get a lot of homophobia and find it very hard to say something. I usually feel bit ‘:o’ by it and by the time I’ve found a response the conversation has moved on.
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First off, the movie sounds like it will be amazing. Secondly, comments from the guys, not cute. That would have started a war between me and them. I always speak up about stuff like that. I would definitely tell them something about that. They might not even realize what they’re actually saying.
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